Believe In Us
by insolitasum
Summary: After the tragic deaths of Andrew Prior and Evelyn Eaton, Natalie and Marcus remarried and had another child. With Marcus still being his abusive self, Tobias, Tris and Elisabeth have to face various obstacles to finding their own happiness. One thing is for sure- it's all for one and one for all
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so this is my first fanfic and I'm still new to this, but I'll give it a try and I'd appreciate any criticism.**

**Ok, so here we go.**

"Liz?" I whisper in the darkness of our shared bedroom.

"Yeah?" she replies, stifling a yawn.

"Are… are you alright? Do you need me to get antiseptics and bandages?" I ask, already halfway on my way to the door. The reason she might need those was that Marcus, my stepdad but her actual dad tonight was once more of the opinion that I needed to be punished by having to watch him whipping my baby sister to near unconsciousness.

It all started when I was eight years old. I still don't know exactly why, he only says that I'm not selfless enough. Oh well, maybe that's a good enough reason for him to beat children… At first it only happened, when the rest of the family, namely my mother Natalie, my older Stepbrother Tobias and my younger half-sister Elisabeth, were out of the house and the two of us were home alone.

Naturally, that did not happen too often, so I was fine. But he would get bolder or find silly excuses, why he and I needed to stay home. At some point, Tobias got suspicious and eventually found out what happened. Well, he found me at age ten bloody, gagged and tied up in the wardrobe upstairs. Not many questions needed to be asked, I guess.

At this point he has proven himself to be a real big brother, even though technically, we weren't related. He stood up for me and tried to defend me against Marcus, but he still was only a twelve year old, so he didn't stand a chance against his father. Marcus was upset at Tobias, because he disobeyed his father by helping me and it didn't take long until he was beaten nearly as regularly as I was. It has been like this for four years in which we succeeded in not only protecting our baby sister but also in keeping all the unpleasantness from her. We were never actually sure what was with mom, if she got beaten and whipped and cut as well, but we knew that she would be no help to us.

However, everything changed two years ago, when Tobias transferred to Dauntless. It took me a lot of persuasion to make him leave. He wanted to stay, to protect me, but I would have none of that. Sure, I loved my big brother and he was always there for me, understanding me, treating my wounds. And my live got a lot better when he knew what was going on and I didn't have to bear the burden alone.

Sure, I'd rather not have my brother beaten, but you can't have everything and in the end you need to make the best of what you have. That at least is my philosophy that made me survive those years. But, back to the point, I would never, ever let him stay here, always near Marcus, always having to pretend in front of others, that Marcus actually was the loving father that he should be.

I assured him, that I wouldn't be alone and, after all, I had survived alone before. In the end, he saw reason and transferred not without promising Liz and I that he would meet us every other Thursday at midnight at the tracks near Abnegation. That is, when he survived Dauntless Initiation. And, what can I say? He has yet to break that promise.

As glad as I am for him, and I am glad. Very so. Still, the night he left was the worst night yet. That night Marcus was in a never ending rage. He blindly hit everyone that came in his way. Mom tried to protect us. And she did, but she paid with her life. Marcus didn't stop hitting and kicking her until she stopped moving, stopped breathing.

I still remember the bloody mess she was, as she lay on the floor in our grey Abnegation home, her red blood forming an odd contrast to the never changing grey. And I remember the expression in his eyes when he turned to me. I was convinced that I'd be next, lying just as motionless next to my mom. And it came close, but Lizzie yelled for him to stop, which made his attention turn from me to her. She probably saved my life that day, but she paid a horrible price, since she as well became a punching bag. But mostly to make me suffer, because it hurts me more to have to watch helplessly than to be beaten myself.

"No, wait! – Tris!" my sisters voice pulls me out of my thoughts. "It's alright. There's no blood. I've had worse. Just don't… don't leave me alone, will you?"

My heart immediately softens at her request and I crawl into her bed, like I already did so many nights before. I would always hold her in my arms, tell her stories and hum lullabies until her breathing evens out and she is fast asleep. So I also do this night.

Unfortunately sleep won't come as easy to me. It has been years since I've gotten a good night's sleep that wasn't interrupted by nightmares of that man that is supposed to care for me. But tonight that's not the only thing that is keeping me awake. What denies me all hope of sleep is the fact that tomorrow I will take my Aptitude Test and the day after that I'm going to decide where and how to live for the rest of my life. So many possibilities.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's to chapter two. I am far too eager to continue this. Well, however. Here we are.**

Mom used to tell us stories when we were younger. She told us a lot about her life. I guess in that aspect she isn't the average Abnegation woman. But then again, she was a transfer from Dauntless. Sometimes she would let us choose a story and then we always wanted to hear about life in Dauntless headquarters. We were fascinated by the way of live and we admired the bravery and their ideals.

It was something I kept thinking about. I always dreamed of transferring to Dauntless but how could I follow their ideals of, for example, standing up for those who can't defend themselves, when I can't even stand up for myself or my sister. I sometimes used wish that someone would come, be Dauntless and defend us and stand up for us. But I have grown up and I have realized that this is never going to happen.

Probably, because Dauntless used to have those ideals but didn't exactly follow them anymore. Just like all the other factions. We all live by a set of rules rather that a set of ideals we strive to reach. That might sound depressing but that situation is not hopeless at all. We just need to remember why our factions were and what the thoughts behind the rules and ideals were. If we accomplish that I hope we could go back to how it was supposed to be.

Such thoughts and many more occupied my mind as I watched the night fade and the sun climb the horizon. Through the night I have tried very hard not to think about the Aptitude Test, because those thoughts have a habit of going on a rollercoaster ride through my head. I am scared. Scared, that my Aptitude is not Abnegation but also scared that it is Abnegation. I feel like I can neither stay, nor go. Going would mean leaving little Lizzie alone and unprotected but staying would mean throwing away my one chance to be free of Marcus. I guess I already decided to stay, since leaving would be the most selfish thing I'll ever do but that does not mean that I have come to terms with it.

When the watch on my wrist tells me it's six in the morning, I shake Liz awake and tell her to get dressed and ready for the day while I prepare breakfast for Marcus. Like every day I pray that we'll already be gone when Marcus starts his day, but like every day, the odds aren't in our favor. I set the bacon on the table as I hear him stomping down the steps.

"Ey, you little worthless piece of shit! Where's my breakfast?"

"On the table, Sir. As usual." I tell him. "Oh and today is the Aptitude Test, so we probably won't be home on time, Sir."

"Ah, right. The Test… well, I expect you to be home punctual anyway and the you tell me your result. And don't you dare have anything but Abnegation. I didn't rain you all these years to be selfless only for you to transfer in the end. Understood?" I am well aware that we aren't supposed to share our test results, but I have long since given up on reasoning with my 'stepdad', so all I reply is "Yes, Sir!" And step out of the house, tugging Liz behind me, before he reconsiders and gives us the occasional good-morning-beating. Been there, done that.

Another look on the watch tells me that we are extremely early and so we decide to walk to school, instead of taking the bus. I actually love walking to school, strolling along the streets, feeling the fresh air on my face; fresh air that smells of freedom to me. I love having that few minutes where there's no one there to see me, when I can just be me, and don't have to try so hard to fit in pictures that are expected of me.

I laugh a little to myself at the thought of how something as selfless as giving up one's place in the bus can be so selfish on the same time. And I know deep inside that Marcus is right when he says that I am nowhere near selfless enough to truly fit in Abnegation. I do think about myself and my loved ones far too often.

Liz looks up to me with a questioning glance, wondering why I was laughing. "Nothing, really" I reply. "I was just thinking about how Marcus is right when he says that I'm not selfless."

My sister shoots me another glance, but this time it's disbelieving and a little sad. "How can you not be selfless, Tris!? You are the most selfless person I know. Come on, look at yourself. You took beatings and never uttered a word about it to anyone, in order to protect Tobias and me. Even now you throw yourself into harm's way at any opportunity that presents itself. You have given up everything to make things better for everyone else. If that's not what being in Abnegation is about, then I don't know. You are the bravest and most selfless person I know, Tris Prior. And I often wish that I was more like you. But that's not the point right now. The point is that you can't trust this lunatic's judgment on matters, or he wouldn't abuse any of us. So keep that in mind when you finally get to leave him tomorrow, because you of all people deserve to get out of this misery."

Her words and her eyes hold so much love and confidence that I feel myself tearing up. I struggle hard to keep the tears from falling, but I never knew that this is how my sister feels about me. No one has said such kind things to me in a long time. And still I know that there is no way that I can leave tomorrow.

"But Liz, you must realize that I can't possibly leave you all alone with this psychopath for three years! That is not going to happen. That would go against everything I have fought for in the past few years. I know what he is capable of and I love you, my baby sister, so I am going to stay here and protect you, until you're old enough to make your own choice, maybe join your brother in Dauntless or go to any other faction and go your own way. That's what you deserve, not being stuck here with Marcus."

I do realize that I had a very similar discussion with Tobias two years ago. But then I argued Liz' side and he mine. However, things are different now. When he left I wasn't all alone. Plus, the beatings weren't as bad back then. Still, due to my former experience, I understand Liz and know exactly what she is going to reply, so before she gets a chance to open her mouth I go on.

"Look, Lizzie, I get your point. I do, after all I argued your position two years ago with Tobias. But please, for just one second, imagine yourself in my position. What would you feel and do? Would you really leave your little sister that you love more than anything in the world, alone behind with the man that has abused you for over half of your life? The man, that beat his own wife to death? I don't think so." I have to work to keep my voice steady and normal, because anger rises inside me at the thought of what Marcus did.

Lizzie looks thoughtful and defeated. I don't really expect an answer from her. I mean, what are you going to say? Yes, I would leave you behind, not caring what happens, as long as I'm free? Yeah, right.

So I am quite surprised when I hear her voice. "Tris, I do know all that, but as hard as it sounds, even now, when you're here 24/7, he beats me. You can't always protect me. That is impossible and I also need to learn to protect myself. And even more, he beats me to get to you. We both know that it hurts you more to helplessly stand by when he lashes out at me than when he tortures you.

And do you really think that his aggression would be any less when you stayed in Abnegation, always near and always the miserable actress who can barely hide her hate for the faction leader? Believe me; he will be mad, no matter what you choose.

"I can't and I won't have you sacrificing your one chance to get away for something this futile. We will think of something, find a solution. And if not, I will somehow survive those three years. No matter what, I need you to leave tomorrow. When we meet up tonight with Toby we will brainstorm and form a plan, alright?"

Right, our meeting with our big brother. I had almost forgotten about that. Not that today was Thursday, but the last time he promised to meet us at our usual spot the night before choosing ceremony. I guess he had a feeling how tough the decision was going to be for me. I loved his caring nature and his protectiveness of us, even when he can't be there for us on a daily basis. I've always enjoyed our regular meetings. They gave me the feeling that everything was right, when we sat there and talked about everything and nothing in playful banter.

"Tris! – Hey! Come on!" Liz' voice breaks me out of my reverie. I look up and realize that we have arrived at school. Oh joy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! Two chapters in one night. I pat myself on the shoulder. Enjoy!**

* * *

It wasn't that I didn't like school. I actually enjoyed learning different stuff and putting my mind to work. What I disliked was the way other factions treated us. I disliked having to apologize to anyone, who obviously ran into me. It feels like apologizing for existing, for going to school at all. How does that make sense? Selflessness is for the Abnegation, but that doesn't mean that other factions aren't allowed to follow simple rules of mutual respect. At least that's my opinion.

I sigh and enter the building. Liz nods her head to me, falling into required Abnegation behavior, and heads for her class, while I go straight ahead towards faction history. Sometimes, classes seemed to last for hours, dragging along as some Erudite teacher goes on and on about a subject. I listened attentively when I knew what the teachers were talking about, but sometimes I would get lost in my thoughts and have problems keeping up.

Today, however, it feels like only seconds until lunch break arrives and therefore the Aptitude Test. My heart pumps in my chest and for once I am really glad and thankful for the silence at our table and about the fact that I would be just left alone.

The whole scenery somehow feels unreal to me. I am very aware of what is going to happen and yet my mind seem to refuse to accept that with tomorrow my life will change, no matter what choice I'll make. And today we lay the base for that. While still struggling to come to terms with that I watch numbly as people first leave the room and then return in a steady rhythm. Leave and return. Leave and return. Until suddenly, my name is called and I make my way to join the pattern. First, leave the room.

Still buried in my thoughts I mechanically walk into the testing room, only taking slight notice of the mirrors there. I make Smalltalk with my Test Administrator, Tori. She is from Dauntless. I briefly wonder if she knows my brother but decide against it. What good would it do?

Instead, I drink the serum and take the test I have been fussing about for quite a long time. When I come out of the simulation I'm greeted with a frightened expression on Tori's face. Before I can really ask what happened she tells me to stay put and that she will be right back. Waiting for her return, I contemplate that I actually managed to project a frightened expression on the face of a Dauntless member. What an accomplishment.

"Beatrice" Tori reenters the room and looks at me gravely. "You have to listen to me now and you can't talk to anyone about this. Ever. Do you understand?" And then she tells me about my result, or rather results. Plural, since apparently there are three instead of one. While she explains about Divergence and the dangers that come with it, three words circle in my mind – Abnegation, Dauntless, Erudite.

When she is done, she tells me to head home, to pretend that I'm sick. But I refuse; thinking of what will await me at home. Also, I want to go home together with my sister one last time, so I tell her that it's alright and that I have to wait for my little sister. I stand up and turn to go, but Tori raises her voice once more.

"Oh, and Tris? I am to tell you that your brother sends his love and that tonight will be as scheduled. I can't tell you what is meant by this, but I thought I'd pass the message." She says with a wink. I feel myself smile at the thought of Tobias. How sweet, that he'd make sure that I feel good right after my test. I nod my head at Tori, thanking her, and leave the room.

Back in the cafeteria I think about what Tori told me. Supposedly the Erudite are after Divergents since they, or we, to their opinion, pose a threat to the whole system. And order has been given out to all the factions that Divergents are to be turned in to Erudite. So it would be suicidal to transfer to Erudite. Not, that I was really planning on that.

I wonder if Marcus knows about Divergence, he is a faction leader after all. I don't have a chance to follow that train of thought for now, as everyone has taken their tests and the younger students have finished with classes, as well. I spot Liz in the crowd and make my way to her. On our way to the bus stop I can feel her giving me sidelong glances, but I choose to ignore them. I guess my sister knows me very well and so she doesn't ask me any questions and tries to distract me instead. She tells me about this one Dauntless in her maths class, Dave that she likes very much. She goes on and on about his looks and how he is a great person, because he is outgoing and yet doesn't feel the need to put others down. I tell her that he seems like a great guy and that I am happy for her. And I really am. Plus, it would be great for her to have a dauntless friend to be there for her and protect her when I can't.

We then talk about this and that until the bus arrives in Abnegation and we have to get out. At this point Liz really has succeeded, as I haven't thought about all my problems for the past few moments. I am very grateful for that.

We part ways once more, because Liz has signed up for volunteering work today, while all 16 year olds are to go home and contemplate their choice for tomorrow. As I head home I realize that Marcus will be there as well, since everyone is in preparation for the Choosing Ceremony, which will be hosted by Abnegation. Therefore, Marcus is not required at work today.

I stop at the door and take a deep breath. I can do it – I have done it before I think, as I open the door and step in.


	4. Chapter 4

**First of all, sorry for not updating yesterday, but we had really nice weather so I spent my time outdoors as much as possible.**

**Second, thanks so much to the people following and the kind reviews. Nice to know that someone is actually reading what I'm writing. **

**Third: this goes to fanfiction4you – She was going to choose Dauntless, but actually your question has made me reconsider and I've changed the plot a bit. I won't say anymore, wouldn't want to spoiler anything. Haha.**

**Oh and this chapter will contain violence, language and rape, just so you're warned**

I am greeted by an empty room and make my way quickly to the steps, trying not to draw attention to myself. That plan, however, does not succeed, I not to myself with a sinking heart, as I hear his voice calling out to me.

"Beatrice! Don't even think about avoiding me. Come and get your lazy ass to the kitchen and clean up." Sighing I walk into the kitchen, grab his dishes and start washing them. He remained seated at the table, watching my every movement with unnerving persistence. It makes me feel nervous and jittery and my hands start to tremble with fear of not meeting his expectations.

I fight it, trying not to let him notice the effect he has on me, but without success, as it seems, since he leaves the kitchen shortly after with a satisfied smirk on his face. Not without telling me to meet him in the living room when I'm finished cleaning.

I'm not exactly sure why I was scared of him so much before. It never was that bad before, not even when I was only eight. But then I realize that I will have to lie straight to his face today. Not, that I didn't do that before, but never about something as big and something, he had quite as much interest in. Plus, he was born in Candor and in all this years he certainly hasn't forgotten how to spot a lie.

After cleaning every surface at least three times and making sure that everything is spotless just as often I can't put it off any longer and join Marcus in the living room. I have a terrible feeling in my gut, but find reassurance in the fact that Liz isn't home and can't get hurt at the moment.

My 'stepdad' is seated in the armchair and has a calm and collected demeanor; however, his cold and cruel eyes betray him. I go and stand before him, knowing I won't be allowed to sit.

"So tell me, what was you result?" He asks. I'm not really surprised that he came to the point immediately. He isn't one for small talk.

"A… Abnegation" I stammer out, and want to mentally slap myself. I that didn't give the lie away, then what would?! And, oh wonder:

"You'd really think you learned something and didn't try to lie to me again. You do know that it doesn't work with me, right?" He states, still eerily calm. But I know better than to lull myself into a sense of security and instead I try to convince him. Abnegation was after all my official result, so I'm not directly lying.

"But I am telling the truth! Abnegation was my result. Really." I plead with him. He seems to consider that, his eyes are narrowing, but never lose the focus on me. 'No fidgeting!' I tell myself, in the hope not to give anything away.

"You're telling the truth and yet you're lying. And honestly, you're not really selfless enough for Abnegation, so how can this be your result? Unless…" And suddenly his whole demeanor changes; he turns rigid and loses the calm air that surrounded him. Suddenly, everyone looking could see his true self. Cold und unforgiving. Also his menacing voice is bare of all pretenses when he goes on.

"Unless you're just like your bitch of a mother." Shock and cold fury surge through my veins at this insult of my mother. How dare he?! After everything he's done. I want to scream at him, insult him, beat him, kick him. But I don't. The fear is rooted to deep inside me and I feel paralyzed by the look in his eyes.

"So what were your other results?" He asks, not even the slightest hint of warmth in his voice. I'm even more scared now. He knows about Divergence! That couldn't be good! What's he going to do? Hand me over to the Erudite? Acting nearly purely on instinct now, I try to deflect his suspicions.

"I… other results? How is that even possible?" But all I manage is to gain a slap across the face from him. "Don't play dumb with me. You forget that I saw you grow up, you little whore. Never once were you even remotely selfless enough for Abnegation. Instead, you were too outgoing and too smart and interested in school stuff for your own good. I tried to correct you, I couldn't have any family member, not even my filthy stepdaughter, not be the perfect Abnegation, which would make me proud. But my friendly attempts never worked, so I restored to something that I knew would work. Physical punishments rarely miss the point. Yet, you were even to suborn for that, it seems." And despite his words he starts unbuckling his belt. It seems like he still hasn't given up on beating my divergence out of me.

"Tell me, what was it? Was it Dauntless, like your good-for-nothing-brother; or was it Erudite?" Tobias? Dauntless? What the hell? He is divergent as well? No way! I'm deeply confused and yet relieved. At least I'm not the only one in the family to be abnormal. My relieve, however, only lasts tiny moments until I heat the swish of air and feel the familiar sting of the belt against my back.

I can't suppress a yelp of surprise and pain.

"Answer me!" With each word another impact.

"both" I say hesitantly, deciding it would be of no use to lie. It wouldn't work after all and the pain would only be worse. There was no way I would have anticipated what this little word would do to Marcus' temper. It was spinning out of control, the impacts getting more frequent and more hurtful by the second. I clench my jaw tightly, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a scream. My vision starts to get blurry and the back of my dress hangs in shreds. I want to give in to the darkness, escape the pain, but Marcus wouldn't let me.

Over the years he has gotten an expert on how far he can take things until I faint. And again he starts shortly before I could succumb to the blissful unconsciousness. He grabs my arm and drags me up the stairs to Tobias' room. It lays unused, gray walls, gray floors, gray desk, gray wardrobe, gray bed. On the last mentioned he tosses me. Despite my hardest efforts I let out a little scream when my severed back hits the mattress. The feeling of something, anything on my raw neck sends excruciating pains trough my whole body.

I writhe in pain and am barely aware of Marcus' actions. But when the light of the afternoon is caught on the blank blade of a dangerous looking knife, I freeze. He smiles evilly as he advances slowly to me, as if giving me time to realize what is going to happen.

When he reaches the bed I flinch away from him, but the pain from my back paralyses me once more. That only makes him smile more.

"Now, now, Beatrice. You know that you deserve that. I am only doing this for you. This is for your own good. You need to be punished for what you are. Divergence is an abomination and needs to be destroyed. Your mother was a hopeless cause, so I did what was necessary, you, however are still young. I have one last try and believe me, there are some things I saved for tonight." He says softly as the slowly drags the knife from the collar of my dress to the hem, his eyes never leaving mine.

His words send chills all over me as the meaning slowly sets in. I feel sick with fear of what is going to happen. In a sudden adrenaline rush I sit up and swing my legs to the floor, trying to escape him and his punishments. This only makes him chuckle and he catches my wrist before I can get to the door. I struggle with him, even managing to free my hand, but he just kicks my legs out from under me and I crumble to the floor. Moments later he is above me, holding me to the ground and overpowering me hopelessly.

He turns me around, so that I'm on my back once more. I let out a wince of pain as my torn flesh makes contact with the wooden floor. He straddles my hips, effectively holding me down and grabs both my wrists in one of his hands, holding them to the floor above my head. I'm rendered completely motionless. I can't help but look up at Marcus and I'm shocked at what I see. All of a sudden his eyes have gotten dark and a little glazed over. I briefly wonder what this is about, but my unasked questions receives an answer when his remaining hand brushes across my bare body. Sometime in the struggle I must have lost the remains of my dress. This unanticipated move makes me want to vomit. In all these years of abuse he has never touched me like this and I was very, very glad for it. This one simple motion makes me feel violated and filthy in so many ways that I'm scared to see what will follow.

"Shsh, Beatrice, I never realized quite how much you have grown. And what can I say? I'm still a man, a widower to be exact and it has been two years since my manly needs have been satisfied. But they will have to wait for a little time longer, I suppose. We are, after all, on a mission." The bile rises in my throat when it dawns on me what is going to happen this evening.

I panic, struggle again against the calloused hands that are holding me down, scream at him that this is sick and that he can't do that, but to no avail. He just chuckles.

"If you just were a bit more selfless, I wouldn't have to do that. And to be honest, I never planned on having sex with you, but with you lying under me, the way you do, that has sparked certain… desire in me. Now, we don't have all night so let's get to business." He gets up, but places both of his hands on my waist, preventing me from getting away. Then he hoists me over his shoulder and throws me on the bed once more. He grabs both my hands and before I can even so much as blink, he has them bound to the bedpost.

He takes position again on my hips and looks down to me with a stern expression in his cold eyes.  
"Listen to me, you are going to choose Abnegation tomorrow and you won't bring shame on my family. Have I made myself clear? You are going to place everyone's needs before yours and do so gladly. You will forget about your interests, as those are selfish. Am I clear?"

To make the urgency of his words clear, he brings his knife down on my stomach. The cuts me is inflicting are more and deeper than ever before and I can't help myself and start to scream out at the pain. I feel the blood flowing out and wonder briefly if this is it. If he is going to kill me, just like he did with my mom. I pray that my sister will be spared that fate and somehow finds a way to be save. I wish I could have done more to protect her, to keep her save.

But once again, right at the verge of unconsciousness, he stops. He lays the knife down on the bedside table and looks down at me again, admiring his handiwork. I am in too much pain and loosing too much blood to really register anything, but I am aware just how much I'm at his mercy. If he doesn't let me treat these wounds he inflicted both on my back and my stomach I might just bleed out beneath him. That at least would spare me everything that is yet to come.

However, my will to live also was seldom stronger. I guess I needed to be brought to the verge of death to once again value my life. And it is this realization that makes the next words come out of my mouth.

"Please, stop. And let me treat the cuts at least. Otherwise is will bleed out right here." I hate myself for begging with him for my little, useless life, but I really don't want to die and I really don't want to have Liz come home to yet another corpse. She has seen enough death for her thirteen years on this earth. He seems to know exactly what I'm feeling and also that I'm dangerously close to my breaking point, with all my emotional stress and now the added physical pain. So he sneers and tells me only, if I promise not to try to escape and if afterwards I do everything he tells me. I hesitate for a moment and do he adds "If you go against me, I will just complete my plan with little Elisabeth. And you wouldn't want that now, would you?"

I sigh, defeated and nod my assent. So he gets off me and unties my wrists.

* * *

I feel a lot better, when I exit the bathroom again. I have succeeded in stilling the bleeding and wrapped gauze around it, as well as my back. The pain is still nearly unbearable, but a least I don't feel like dying anymore.

That better feeling evaporates at once, when I see Marcus sitting on the bed, wearing nothing but boxers. He pats the bed next to him, indicating me to come and sit down with him and I comply warily. I know what he plans with me, so I wonder about the sitting part.

"Beatrice, I know you're wondering why I want to talk first, but you see, I have a deal to propose to you. You see, I have some needs that desperately need to be taken care of. If you were to transfer, it would fall to your little sister to do so, but that would be fairly sick, seeing as she is my daughter, don't you agree? So here is what I propose: You stay in Abnegation and behave like it. You will take care of my needs and do everything I tell you. Everything. In exchange I keep your little secret and that of your brother private and promise you not to touch Elisabeth again. Deal begins tonight. What do you say?"

He doesn't really need to wait for my answer, he already knows that I would never let harm come to my siblings and rather take it myself. But he is cruel and he wants me to accept verbally, to show me once more who is in power. So I nod and say quietly "Deal."

At that he pushes me down and straddles my hips once more, not bothering to tie my hands, knowing exactly how defeated I am. I shut my eyes, trying to block everything that is happening out, as his lips crash down on mine forcefully. His tongue demands entrance to my mouth and I hesitantly grant it. It is repulsing and I hate every single second of it. I'm shocked and disgusted at the fact that this right here is my first kiss. Tears start to roll down my face and I don't have the energy to stop them.

His hands wander to my breasts, kneading them brutally. It is a strange sensation. It hurts like hell and it's surely leaving bruises, but on the same time, no one ever has touched me there before. But that makes the whole thing even sicker. When he is done there, he grabs one of my hands and guides it into his pants, making me hold his errection and stroke it. He barks out little commands like "Harder!" or "Faster!" and pants heavily. Suddenly his hand is inside my own underwear, cupping my private area. I gasp at his touch, shocked by its suddenness. That makes him lose all inhibitions and he tears my undies into shreds, swats my hand away and pulls himself out of the pants. He aligns himself at my core and with a hard thrust enters me.

It hurts. More and different than any pain he has inflicted on me before. It hurts on so many levels and I cry out, a little more with every violent thrust. He is so big, too big for me and I'm not ready for him. His lips come crashing down on mine again. Judging by the sounds he is making, he is enjoying himself, but all I feel is agony. I never knew it would hurt that much. I'm relieved when he is finally done and pulls out of me.

He simply puts on his clothes again, leaving me on the bed, tears still streaming endlessly down my face. When he is nearly done, he turns around once more.

"Well, wasn't that nice? I'm looking forward to spending more time like this with you. But clean up here, will you? It looks rather messy." And then he is out of the door. I just close my eyes, utterly exhausted and defeated.

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**Ok, that was longer than anticipated. I hope it wasn't too violent. I know that characters might be a little OOC, but given the circumstances, it felt the logical thing to do.**

**Well, tell me what you're thinking. **


	5. Chapter 5

Hey lovelies! Just some things that came into my mind:

1. I changed the rating to M, since events turned out far more violent than I had originally planned. Oh well. Thanks again to Lynda Loyde for the advice!

2. English isn't my first language and I actually write this for training purposes. So when I make mistakes or use phrases that sound awkward, feel free to tell me.

3. I'm not sure about this whole disclaimer thing. This is after all and when I categorize my story as a Divergent fanfic, I sort of tell everyone, that this stuff doesn't belong to me, right? One wouldn't really expect to find completely original content on a page like this, or am I wrong? If anyone can give me any advice for that, it will be appreciated.

Ok, enough talking, let's go on. Oh, and I did a Liz pov, just trying it out.

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Liz POV

Normally I really enjoy volunteering. I gives me great satisfaction to help the helpless and maybe to make their lives a little more livable. I always try to get to know the factionless and most of them have interesting stories to tell. I guess that by now I have some reputation among them and most of them know my name. They aren't all only pleasant people, but the majority is.

Today, however, I'm not really into it. My thoughts keep wandering to my sister, the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow and life beyond. I'm wracking my mind for a solution that would be acceptable for my sister and involved her transferring to dauntless. But no such luck so far.

Admittedly, that isn't the only place my mind wandered. I also think a lot about a certain dauntlessborn. I didn't yet tell my sister, but today in school I actually talked to him. He got into a fight with a peer and in the process he hurt his ankle. The Abnegation that I am I helped him get to the infirmary. On the way he thanked me and talked a bit. I even built up the courage to ask him if he knew my brother and really, he remembered the first 'stiff' that was a dauntless initiate. He admitted that he is quite intimidating and I giggled at the thought of my caring, sweet big brother as the boogieman of the dauntlessborn.

Still deep in thought I bid goodbye to my fellow volunteers and the factionless when the time is up and head home. I desperately need to talk to Tris and we have a lot of planning to do. I expected her to be in the kitchen, preparing dinner, so that's where I head as soon as I'm home. But I'm greeted by an extremely unusual sight – my father preparing dinner. At the sound of my footsteps he turns around and actually smiles. I wonder what put him in such a good mood. I expected him to be raging and threatening and probably drunk, due to Tris' Choosing Ceremony. I'm deeply confused, but I know better than to ask questions.

Still, his actions bewilder me more and more, as he ushers me inside and tells me to take a seat, dinner will be ready in a minute.

And indeed, shortly after he serves both of us and I can't help myself but ask about Tris.

"Oh Elisabeth, your manners! Don't you recall our faction rules, where children are only to talk at the dinner table when asked a question? But to answer, she is upstairs; she has after all an important decision to make." Is the only answer I receive. That doesn't clear anything for me, but I refrain from speaking again, because I don't want to risk being the target of his fury.

We eat in silence and I'm in a hurry to finish my meal, so I can look after Tris. But Marcus has different plans for me. He himself does the dishes, but tells me to keep him company. I'm getting nervous because I don't have any idea why he is acting the way he is, and the more time passes, the greater is my confusion and nervousness.

When everything is clean again we go to the living room and he finally speaks again.

"So, Elisabeth. Tomorrow around this time it's going to be the two of us alone here. I just thought we should talk about some things concerning that. First, since your filthy sister won't be around anymore, we should take turns preparing the meals. How about just every other day?"

'What the hell?' I think to myself. Where does this come from? I assumed that all the tasks my sister completes now would fall to me. Never in a thousand years would I have thought that he would offer to get active in the household again! I don't trust his words and I'm growing irritated at his behavior and the whole situation. But not knowing what else to do, and being afraid of some sort of trap I say "That sounds good, but you have a much fuller schedule, so I can do it, like Tris did all this time."

"How nice and selfless of you to offer that, but it's alright. You're still a kid and should have a little free time. And that's exactly why I'll let you go now. I'm sure you still have homework to do. But don't stay up too long, tomorrow is an important day."

I breathe out in relief, still wondering if this is some strange kind of dream. I'm not willing to take a chance and hurry upstairs and knock on my sister's door. When no one answers, I just walk in only to find it empty. Growing suspicious I walk further down the hall to our brother's room. I know that sometimes she goes in there to think.

And I'm right. I find her in there; but surely not lost in thought but barely even conscious and covered in blood. I gasp in shock and Tris turns to me when that sound registers with her. Her eyes go wide and her eyes are sad. She doesn't say anything but I see the salty trails on her cheeks and the physical state she is in. She looks bad and broken beyond repair. It feels me with dread, fear and despair. Never ever have I seen my sister being weak; she always tried to be strong for me. So what must have happened to leave her like that?

Tris tries to sit up, probably putting the strong mask back in place, but gasps out in pain. This sound breaks me out of my reverie and I gently push her back on the bed and promise her to be right back. I run to the bathroom and get nearly everything off the medical drawer, not exactly sure with what I'm dealing, since I was unable to bring myself to have a closer look. I was too captured by her tortured eyes.

Coming back into the room, Tris hasn't moved. I sit down on the bed next to her and she tries not to grimace at the movement of the mattress. Uh oh, if that already hurts her, this is going to be very bad.

Upon inspecting her body I see that she must have treated herself before. But the bandages are dripping red, so I decide to take them off and renew them, starting with the ones on her stomach.

I'm nauseated a bit more with every bandage I take off. Those aren't just normal cuts – no, this sick bastard has actually carved three words into her abdomen – I AM WORTHLESS. I run to the bathroom again and empty my stomach into the toilet. I feel so bad for Tris and for leaving her alone with him today, but I'm aware that she wouldn't want any pity, so I push it out of my mind for now and put on a carefully neutral expression.

I clean the wounds, disinfect them and wrap them again. I'm not sure about moving her just yet, so I move on to the blood on her tights. For a moment I'm not really sure where it comes from, but when she winces at my spreading her legs I connect the dots. And this time, I explode. I can't believe it!

"Oh good grace! That bastard! He didn't. This man is just so sick! Not enough that he abused you for over eight years, whipped you, cut you, even carved words into your skin. No he has to fucking rape you. Can his mind get any more twisted and perverted? Is that where is exceptional good mood comes from? Is he finally satisfied now? That's so sick!" I exclaim, anger pulsing through me. I would have gone on; I have a lot to get out of my system if it wasn't for Tris hand on my arm.

"Sh, it's ok. He's is satisfied for now, and it's the last day today, right?" She says and I'm glad that she's finally seen sense and is going to transfer tomorrow.

"So you have finally seen sense? Good, because there is no way that you're going to stay here after that!"

She looks at me with some concealed emotion in her eyes and simply says "Yes, I have seen sense." It sounds somewhat defeated, but I don't say anything. I just squeeze her hand and go back to cleaning her thighs. I note that she bites back a lot of grunts of pain and I try to be extra gentle and careful.

When I'm done, I ask her if she can sit up, so I can get to her back, but she just shakes her head. Before I can ask, she explains.

"Look at the clock, Lizzie. Fixing me up has already taken far too much time. You need to pretend to go to sleep. Tobias will be waiting for you at the tracks, as usual. Tell him, that I'm sorry and that I love him, alright?"

"But… I can't leave you like this!" I sputter out. "Not with him in the house and your wounds being so bad."

She sighs and takes my hand again in hers. "Look, he even told that woman that conducted my test that he will be there, waiting for us. You need to go. And Marcus got what he needed today. I'm fairly sure that he won't try anything tonight. So go, talk to Tobias, and be free for a while. Enjoy it for me, will you?" She says bidding but also longingly, which I don't exactly understand, since she will be free by tomorrow. But, once more, I let it slip. I kiss her on her forehead and leave the room, preparing for the night.

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So that's it, I know it's not that exciting and more of a build-up for the next chapter(s). But tell me if you liked the change of the point of view!


	6. Chapter 6

**hey! New update. Yay. And only Liz' and Tobias' POV in this one. Hope you like it. **

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Tobias POV

I sit on the floor of the train, by back against it's wall, as it's taking me back to my childhood home - the Abnegation sector. On my way there I let my Four-mask slip and go back to the somewhat more emotional but also more vulnerable essence of me. In Dauntless I've found it helpful to become a harder version of me. No one would even think of going soft on someone, no matter how fucked up their childhood was. Plus, being a 'Stiff' I already was a target. No need to add some more to that.

And I actually enjoy who I am and what I am in Dauntless now. It feels amazing to be in control once. Still I need these meetings with my sisters. The keep me rooted, because no matter what, I'll always just be Tobias. The one, that left them alone. Not that they would ever say it, but I did it nonetheless. This guilt will always be with me, and there really is no way to make it up to them, but to be responsible for their training and helping them in initiation might be a start.

I look out of the train, to the city, only illuminated by the moon. It has a beauty that is not lost on me. It is so dark and yet seems peaceful. But if you have a closer look, you'll spot the occasional factionless or one of the countless ruins and are reminded that life is far from perfect. And it is.

As I think about life and it's imperfections I already arrive at the place I have been to so often before. I jump out of the train and lay back in the grass, looking at the stars and chuckle to myself. The two persons I am couldn't be more different. Tobias, who enjoys a starry night and constantly ponders the meaning of life; and Four, the first ranked initiate, that let's no one have a look at his heart.

As I lay there I hear a light set of footsteps approaching. It is just one person and not two, but those footsteps belong to Lizzy for certain. So I get up and greet her with open arms, thrilled to see her again.

She pouts for a second, thinking she could sneak up on me, but then comes into my arms and we just stand there, hugging for a moment.

Eventually we break apart and I take a look at her face. The sadness and guilt in there tell me, that it isn't exactly by choice that Liz is here alone, but I need to know why.

"Liz! It's good to see you! Are you alright? And where'sTris? Why isn't she here? Is she alright?"

"Geez! You are aware that I can only answer one question at the time, right? But it's nice to see you as well. I'm alright. Tris is currently in your bed, trying not to move too much and fighting pain. No, she's far from alright."

That confirms my suspicions. But still, this has to be bad, when it stops her from moving around. Very bad. Worse than I've ever had.

"What did he do to her?" I seethe, half afraid of what my baby sister will tell me.

"When I've found her, she was lying on the bed, covered is bandages and blood. I wasn't actually there when he did it. I haven't seen much of her back, but what I've seen was more raw flesh than skin.

On her stomach we cuts, really deep cuts. But they weren't ordinary cuts, no they were freaking words. That sick bastard actually carved 'I am worthless' into her skin, in a way that she's never going to get rid of it. When I saw it... I..." She doesn't finish that sentence but she really doesn't need to. Even I feel sick to my stomach and I have seen a lot in my two years in dauntless.

My hands are in fists in helpless anger and I'm consumed by guilt. I failed to protect her. I knew that transferring was a bad idea, but I've never regretted it more than today. I want to kick something or shoot or really anything, but that has to wait until later. I try to suppress my sudden anger, because I don't want to scare my little sister.

And she is watching me closely, observing every shift in my mood, it seems. He behavior tells me that there is more and that she isn't sure whether or not to tell me.

"Spit it out" I sigh, wondering what else there is and what could probably be worse. A thought pops into my mind and I pray that I'm wrong. Even Marcus wouldn't do that. No, it can't be.

"He raped her. There was so much blood." Yes, it can. Before I can control myself I kick hard against a rock, hoping that it might release some of the plenty emotions inside me. But Liz is here. I need to be there for here. Breath. Deep breaths; in and out. I tell myself until I'm in control.

I gather Liz in my arms. I need to hold on to her. I have just realized how much worse the situation has gotten. If I know Tris at all, and I think I know her pretty good, then there is no way to convince her to leave now, as strange as that might seem. Every reason for her to leave is twice as much reason to stay. No way that she is going to let Liz stay there alone.

If there just was a way to make sure that Liz is save...

But maybe, maybe there is.

Liz POV

I lay in Toby's arms, feeling entirely safe for once. I wish Tris could be here with us. Then I would freeze this moment for ever. But suddenly, the warm protection of Toby's arms is gone and I look up at him with confusion.

I'm taken aback by the delighted joy in his expression, until he begins to explain.

"Liz! There might be a way! How haven't I thought of this before? Not long ago, I got my hands on one of those Erudite papers where they write about the newest developments in the research they do and where they constantly attack Abnegation. I was more interested in the second part, but there actually was an article about a new machine or serum or something like that. I obviously didn't understand all of it. I'm not Erudite. But in essence they have developed a way to make visible what is in your head. It enables you to show memories, for example. We could go to them and offer to show them our memories. I bet they'd be delighted to find so much evidence against none other than a faction leader.

"I'm not exactly keen on giving them that, but if it means to have both of you in safety, then I'd do it. Or we use that as leverage over Marcus. Yes, that's probably even better. He has to be a good father to you, while Tris can transfer alright. I still hate to leave you with him, but who knows what they might do to you, when they find out about the abuse. Who knows that you'll be better off? Over Marcus we would at least hold something.

I think that would be our best chance. What do you think?"

Wow. I knew Toby was a genius. That actually is much better than anything I would have hoped for. It would give all of us what we need. Instead of answering, I fling my arms around him again and hug him tight to me. He is the best big brother anyone could get.

After this moment of delight I try to detect faults in that plan. Just to make sure.

"How will they know it's the truth, though? I mean, Marcus could just go there himself and show them some scenario that he came up with to prove he is the man everyone thinks he is. And then, whom would they believe?" I ask with dread. Marcus has a good reputation and no one would suspect what's going on behind closed doors. He really has everyone fooled.

"I'm not sure how," he answers, "but I'm sure they have a way. Maybe truth serum? But come on, they are Erudite. You don't really think they haven't thought about that, right?"

I blush a little at that. He's right. I wreck my mind, thinking about other weaknesses. I can't find any, really. I only wonder how to effectively blackmail Marcus into doing what we want. How to believe that we will actually follow through with that.

I voice my concerns to Toby and indeed, he hasn't thought about that yet.

Tobias POV

I really want to go to that man that calls himself my father and give him a piece of my mind. Look into his eyes when he realizes that he can't win this. After everything that he did, he deserves that. And that needs to stop right now.

And then I realize that I can indeed go to him and do exactly that. There isn't really anything that's holding me back. And then I can check on Tris and also give her some instructions for tomorrow. This is going to be a long night, but who cares?

"Liz, I'm going to do that. I'll go back with you and talk to him. That's the least I can do, plus I'm no longer under his influence. It's safest for me to do so." I tell her, reassuring her.

Her posture tells me that she is relieved to not to have to carry that burden. And really, nothing like that should last on her young shoulders. Nothing of that should be necessary.

Her words, however, prove that she always thinks of others before herself.

"You can't! What if they catch you? You aren't supposed to just pay your family a visit outside visiting day! Especially not in the middle of the night!"

"Liz, who's going to catch me? The only people still up and about apart from the two of us are Dauntless patrols. And to them I'm still scary Four, the stiff initiate that came first and only has four fears." I scoff. I don't really like the fame that all this brought me, but sometimes it comes in handy, like right now. So I guess, I shouldn't complain. "Nothing is going to happen. I promise."

And with that I take her hand in mine and we make our way back to good old home. A place I haven't missed at all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi there, it's been a while, I know! Sorry! I was away, visiting family. But anyway, thanks for all the response I got! I tried to improve, add a little more drama. And thanks for all the compliments of my English! I appreciate it a lot and I feel as if I was fishing for compliments. Oh well...**

**ok, without further ado, here is the new chapter. Enjoy and forgive me.**

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Tobias POV

'So this is it.' I think to myself as we stand before the plain gray door of the house that was supposed to be home.

My emotions are in quite a turmoil. There was pure anger and rage back at the tracks. It was barely contained, and I just managed it, because Liz was there and I didn't want to scare her.

But the nearer we got to 'home', the more fear crept in. And then I'm angry at myself that after all the time in Dauntless the thought of my father still manages to scare me. If it was just for me I might just have chickened out. But it wasn't about me. It was about my sister. And for gods sake, I could be a leader by now. I really should for once live up to the ideals of the Dauntless manifesto.

So with new acquired confidence I barge through the door, not even bothering to knock.

Once inside I realize that I don't really have a plan after this. What is more important? Making sure Tris is as fine as possible in her situation, or confronting Marcus right away?

I decide for the latter, but tell Liz to go to her sister and tell her of our plan. I don't want her to be alone but I have to make this right first.

So I go upstairs and straight into Marcus' bedroom. Without allowing myself to hesitate for even a second, I wake him up with a well placed fist to his face. His nose immediately starts bleeding, which gives me quite some satisfaction. Also the utter confusion that crosses his expression for a moment adds to that. But he collects himself fast and As usual, he comes straight to the point.

"What the hell are you doing here? You're not allowed to be here, especially today. You are aware, that I can get you in quite the trouble with this, right?"

"And hello to you, _dad_. What a warm welcome! I missed you, too!" I answer sarcastically. Yeah, I missed him so much.

"I'm here, because you are a vile asshole. And I really wanted to be there and look into your eyes when you realize that you are beaten and can't harm any of us anymore. No, scratch that. I wanted to be the one delivering the blow." And with that I grab the collar of his shirt and toss hi. Out of bed with it. When he is on the floor, some instinct kicks in and my feet connect with some especially hurtful places on his torso. It also tells me not to leave visible marks; he'll be on stage of the Choosing Ceremony.

The irony of my actions isn't lost to me. It's just exactly reversed positions. And what I feared for a while comes true. I'm just like him. Like father, like son. I'm just as violent and aggressive like he is. But that realization fuels my anger towards him even more.

I only stop when there is blood on the floor. That sight sobers me a little and instead of kicking again, I kneel down and look this man straight in the eye.

"You know, there is a great new invention of the Erudite. A friend of mine told me about it." Yeah, a friend. Not exactly. Oh well, it serves my intentions for now and I've never been cut out for candor.

"It's great, it finally enables one to show others pictures of one's mind. Pictures, thoughts, memories... I always wished I'd be able to do that." I say pleasantly, even though my mood is far more violent. And I decide it's enough of facades. As I said, no candor. Dauntless suits me much better.

"So, father" I spit. "I know what you've done to Tris and I perfectly recall my daily life before I transferred. And I'm sure, so do my sisters. So if you so much as touch any of them again, I will go to Erudite and show them exactly what a man the oh-so-selfish leader of Abnegation is. I know the articles they already published. I'm very sure they'd be so excited for more details. And I'd be happy to give them.

"So when Tris transfers tomorrow, you will let her leave in peace and you will be a good father to your youngest. You will show her love and peace. You will make her happy and let her free. If you don't, think of what will happen. No one would want you as a leader anymore. You'd be factionless and at the mercy of a faction that kicked you out. If I were you, I'd think twice before doing anything."

To my astonishment, he doesn't even look fazed. He was panting, and in pain, sure, but he laughs straight at me.

"Oh Tobias, you are still as naive as years ago. Go on, go ahead. Show the. Your pitiful memories. But then I might just visit my dear friend Jeanine Matthews and let it slip accidentally that you and that little bitch are divergent. Oops. Then both of your lifes are just as ruined as mine, except that I'll still be alive. Did you really forget that two can play this game? But I thank you for coming here. It gave me the pleasure of seeing this awful reality settle in twice today."

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I'd take that risk, if it was just me. Keeping my sisters safe is something worth dying for, but I can't risk Tris getting killed. I desperately want to believe that he wouldn't do that, but I know that man. He would do that without a second thought. Somewhere in my mind I'm aware that I'm giving Marcus exactly what he wanted, but I can't bring myself to care. I need to think of something. Anything.

"But you don't need to worry about always was my favorite and I never wanted to harm her. I just did what was necessary.

And Tris and I have a deal. She keeps her end of the bargain and I promised that Liz and your secret will be save. You should be glad that she's much smarter than you, because if it wasn't for that deal, I would go next door, grab little Lizzy, take her sweet little virginity and make you watch as a payback for your actions. So if I were you, I'd go to her and thank her on my knees. Seeing as that also might be the last time you see her, with faction before blood and all." He sneers. And I'm even more desperate. What the hell did Tris do? I have a feeling that I know exactly what this 'deal' is about, and it fills me with absolute dread.

This evening definitively did not turn out the way I intended it to. And I'm full of admiration and fear for Tris, as well as hatred for myself. She accomplished what I failed at. She managed to protect not only Liz, but also me, while I ran away and threatened Marcus and simply made everything worse. And not only that. I also came to realize that I'm just like the guy that is responsible for this messed up life.

I know that my sisters are probably better off without me, but I'm too selfish to just leave. And I really need to see Tris. I have no idea what to say to her. Still, I have to at least thank her.

So I go back to my old room, since I remember Liz telling me that that happened there. And what I find there breaks my heart.

At the sound of my approach both look up at me. Liz with a hopeful expression, willing me to tell them that everything is fine. And Tris...

Never have I seen anyone looking that broken and yet that determined. She lies on my bed, avoiding every movement, but she has Liz in her arms. I know that Liz told her our plan and I can also see, that Tris already knows what hold Marcus has above the two of us. I can tell that she is scared of what will happen after tomorrow, but she already accepted it.

We look each other in the eye and that shared look is loaded with meaning and communication. It tells me that she knows what I'm going to tell her. It tells me that we agree on doing everything for Liz. And it tells me that I'm facing the strongest person I've ever met.

All if a sudden, I'm filled with awe of my sister. The way that she sacrificed everything for her loved ones is extraordinary. I know that for now there is no way of getting her out of this situation, but I swear in this moment on everything that I care about, that for one I will make her sacrifice worth it. And I will do everything humanly possible to rescue her. And if it is the last thing I do, I will make it possible for her to live the life she deserves.

I'm overcome with a fierce sense of protectiveness and admiration for this little girl with so much inner strength that she would put even the greatest Dauntless hero to shame.

After a moment, that felt like hours, Tris looks away and I'm broken out of my reverie.

Liz doesn't yet know of any of this, and I don't want Tris to have to tell her, so I take the youngest of us by the hand and promise Tris to be right back. In the corridor, I tells Liz everything she needs to know. She, as well, is quite upset at the information, even though I didn't tell her about our divergence. I'll tell her in three year's time, but right now she doesn't need to preoccupy herself with that quite yet.

She is devastated at the sacrifice of her sister.

"God, and I thought that she opted to transfer and I didn't see it. I just made it worse. And if it wasn't for me, she wouldn't have to do this. Oh Toby, I'm so, so sorry. I should go to Marcus and tell him to use me instead of her and let her go. I know she always protected me, but this is insane. She can't do that! Our father is so mean! How could anyone make someone they're ought to protect do that?!" She is frantic and I'm glad that Tris isn't here. This would be a lot harder for her, I imagine.

"Listen, Liz." I tell her sternly. "Yes, Tris did this for you and I, to protect us. Don't let it blow into her face. Going to Marcus now won't accomplish a thing. You know as well as I that he has it for Tris. And frankly, she looks like her mom. That's also a reason why he wants her, why he did to her what he did. I'm not any happier that you are about this and I swear that I, we will get her out of there.

But in the meantime, promise me and her to make her sacrifice worth it, alright? I'll train you for dauntless and I'll take that leadership offer, so I'm higher ranked. We'll think of something. But show her that her effort wasn't in vain, alright? Try to be happy. Nothing will make her happier for now." I need her to see this. As honorable, as her feelings are, going yet again to Marcus would be foolish. To my relieve, Liz seems to see what I'm talking about and nods with tears in her eyes.

I close the distance between us and hug her tightly once again. We stay like this for a while; each holding on to the other in the search of comfort and solace.

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**Ok, that's it. What do you think? Have a nice rest of the day. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! New chapter. YAY! Choosing Ceremony. Now it gets serious...**

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TRIS POV

"Tris? Tris! You need to wake up!" I hear someone, my little sister, telling me. I groan and open my eyes, finding myself looking into her concerned face. I groan again. Honestly, I feel like I didn't get any sleep at all. And that's not even far from the truth.

After Tobias took Liz to tell her what transpired, which I was very grateful for, since I don't have it in me, to voice any of that ever again, both of them came back to me and for the rest of the night we just chatted and enjoyed each other's company.

We forcefully avoided any topic even remotely close to Choosing Day or Marcus and I know that it was hard for my siblings to pretend that everything was fine, but I was so grateful, that they tried for me. I needed that one last carefree night, before I faced the things that are coming. I desperately wanted that happy memory to hold on, to remind me of why I'm doing this and why I need to go on.

I'm also thankful that Tobias prevented Liz from doing something stupid. The two of them need to stick together. I made Tobias promise, to still meet Liz every other Thursday. They insisted I come along as well, but I think we all knew that this isn't going to happen. With me being practically Marcus' slave, I'm sure I will be engaged in other activities at night. I told Tobias to watch out for Liz and to train her for Dauntless, so she has the best chances to survive initiation.

Somewhere in the conversation I must have fallen asleep, because I don't remember saying goodbye to Tobias or ever leaving his room. And after rubbing my eyes I see, that, indeed, I'm still in his room.

I sigh and get out of the bed. My sister satisfied that I decided to get up, leaves the room and descends the stairs; probably in order to prepare breakfast. I on the other hand make my way to my room. I'm still incredibly sore from yesterdays… events, but I have to get over it. Missing Choosing Ceremony simply isn't an option.

I unwrap the bandages and inspect the damage. The cuts look like they are beginning to heal. Thank god they aren't infected.

I have to look over my shoulder to see my back, and even then I don't really see much. Well, a mirror would help in that department. I ask myself once more why exactly mirrors are such a no go in Abnegation. Sometimes you just need one. Like now.

I can't help it for now, and in the end it probably doesn't matter anyway. It's not like I could treat anything very well on my own. And it surely also wasn't the last whipping I received.

Sighing, I step under the shower and clean myself up properly. I shrub at my skin, trying to clean the touch of Marcus away. I'm really good at repressing unpleasant memories, but that feeling just won't go away. Now, I really feel filthy and the thought of what will happen after today makes me shudder.

'I don't have to worry about that for a few more hours' I tell myself firmly and decide to instead focus on Liz.

And speak of the devil, she appears in my doorframe.

"I came to look if you need help with bandaging up your torso again. I'd gladly help."

I thankfully accept her offer and so she comes in. While I sit down on the bed, she grabs everything she needs and gets to work.

"Tris, you don't have to do this. Don't stay. I can handle myself. I promise. I'm not sure if I can live with myself…"

"Oh Liz, just shut up, will you? Look, I've decided to do this; not just for you, but also for Tobias. I know I can survive this, but only if I know that you and he are happy and unharmed and alive. So promise me, that you will be happy, alright?"

She doesn't answer me and I can't see her face, since she is currently working from behind me. But I can feel the silent tears that drop onto my back. Great, now I've managed to make her cry.

"I know you're unhappy with this, but I won't change my mind. So let's not taint this morning with arguing, when we should enjoy it. But maybe it would be better if you don't accompany us to Choosing Ceremony, so you don't have to see it. You could just pretend that I transferred to Dauntless and am with Tobias."

"No way. I'm going to be there with you and for you up until the last moment. No arguing! And I'm ready, so let's go downstairs and grab some food. We have to get going soon. Father already left, he has to be there early for some last minute preparations. That means it's the bus for us again. But like this at least we have some moments just the two of us."

I nod and pull a dress out of the wardrobe.

Our bus ride to the hub is uneventful. We don't really talk; everything that needs to be said has been said. But I still enjoy having her around. Her presence never fails to lift my mood. But despite that my nervousness grows by the second. It's not because I don't know what to choose, but because I know my moments with Liz are counted and limited.

We quietly take the stairs. Once we arrived, I pull Liz into a hug, not caring that I'm not supposed to do that. I need this right now. I pull her into me and tell her that I love her very much. When we part, she has tears in her eyes and tells me that she loves me, too.

Then she goes to sit with the other families, while I find my place in the line and wait.

All the time during the speeches, Marcus' eyes never leave mine, and I can't bring myself to look away either. The choosing of the sixteen year olds before me seems to take ages. I want it to be my turn and get it over with by now. I don't feel comfortable with Marcus gaze on me all the time. So I'm relieved when my name is finally called.

I walk onto the stage and accept the knife from Marcus. Oh, the irony. I go over to where both the Dauntless, as well as the Abnegation bowls are situated.

I cut into my palm, and, my gaze firmly on Marcus, I let my blood drip.

* * *

FOUR POV

It's Choosing Day today and I'm waiting impatiently for the initiates to arrive. Originally, I signed on as a trainer, because I thought Tris would be here this year and I wanted to make sure that she makes it through initiation.

But she won't be among the bunch that will soon jump down from that roof, so naturally I'm in a bad mood. Also, I didn't get any sleep last night. After Tris fell asleep from exhaustion I told Liz to go to bed as well and get at least a little sleep.

I, however, didn't listen to my own advice. All the time on my way back I thought about how I could get Tris out of Abnegation, without anyone having to suffer. After I still haven't come up with anything valuable upon my arrival back at Dauntless, I went straight for the gym.

I had a lot of built up anger inside me that needed releasing. I took it out on the punching back. Tris was raped. Punch. By my father. Punch. He blackmailed her into basically being her slave. Punch. He blackmailed me into not helping her. Kick. And all over again. I punched and kicked for everything that man has ever done to all of us. When it was time for breakfast I wasn't even nearly done, but I know that I shouldn't raise suspicions that I leave every other week, so I gave it a rest and had breakfast with Zeke and Lauren.

Both of them know me well, even though I never told them about Marcus, they know that I have two sisters. And they know not to talk to me when I'm in a bad mood. So, thankfully, they left me alone and just chatted among themselves.

The movement of the net breaks me out of my reverie and I move to help the first jumper up, wishing it was Tris. She would be brave enough to jump first.

* * *

**Haha, I'm so evil to somehow forget to mention what she chooses. Muhaha. **

**I actually have some questions I need your opinions on:**

**First, I'm planning on writing briefly about Tris' initiation and events surrounding it. Probably one chapter. And then having a time jump to Liz' Choosing Ceremony/initiation. Should I do that, or focus a little more on whats going on with Tris?**

**Second, as long as Tris, Liz, and Tobias are separated I thought I would focus on all of their lifes a bit, with the corresponding povs. Are you interested in that or should it be mainly Tris?**

**And Third, should there be Fourtris eventually or would that be too strange, considering they grew up as siblings, even though they aren't related by blood?  
**

**Yeah, that's it for now. And I just wanted you to know that I'm a strong believer in happy endings. Maybe not for a while, but tris won't be unhappy forever. I promise. **


	9. Chapter 9

**hey there! Here's another chapter. I want to thank you all for the kind and considerate reviews! I am overwhelmed by the love of fourtris. I'll see what will happen, but at least now I know what you want and prefer. Tris' initiation won't only be one chapter, but also not too many, just so you get at least an introduction to what she's going through. **

**Ok, that's it for now. Enjoy!**

* * *

Tris POV

We Abnegation are the last ones to leave the hub after the Choosing Ceremony. It is not only the selfless thing to do, to let the others leave first; we also stay behind because for the initiates it is the first task to clean up the room. Of course we are not alone, there are vast amounts of volunteers to help. It would be selfish after all, to leave all the work to the initiates.

Now that we are done, we assemble at the door.

"So, welcome initiates to Abnegation! We, as a faction, believe in selflessness and that selfishness was to blame for the evil in this world..." Marcus gives his welcoming speech. I have already heard many similar speeches as different events, so I don't really bother listening. Instead, my thoughts wander to my siblings once again. I wonder if the Dauntless have arrived at the compound already and if Tobias is welcoming them in his dauntless prodigy mode, he has told us about. It's hard for me to imagine him in this role, but then again, his pure physique is quite intimidating.

I feel a little bad that he only became an instructor for me and now I'm not there, but secretly I think that he would enjoy instructing none the less, he just would never admit it.

And Liz? She is home by now. But, thankfully, Marcus is still here, so she has some time to herself. She doesn't even have to prepare dinner for Marcus, since he always shares the fist meal with the initiates. I bet, she spends the time daydreaming about this dauntless boy. Her crush on him is really really sweet.

I return to reality when the crowd begins to move. Everyone silent and swiftly,of course. What else would you expect? I hurry and keep up with them. It seems like it missed the part where Marcus told everyone about initiation and how it works, but it certainly has it's perks to be the 'stepdaughter' of the leader. There aren't many, so you have to make sure to use those you have.

I know that we initiates will share rooms, although males and females separately. There is a reason that Abnegations are known as stiffs.

I also know that we have 30 days of community service in front of us, along with some training to forget our selfs.

And then, in the end, there is a rather festive, well, at least by Abnegation standards, evening, with all the pomp. Meaning a reading of the manifesto and getting our feet washed and having dinner. And there are rarely initiates that don't make it I to the faction. For that you'd have to portray a huge amount of selfishness. In the past few years, no one was made factionless.

Outside, the crowd parts into those with gray robes and those wearing another color. The gray ones are told to go to the dorms on their own, since they know the way. We are to go on foot and through the factionless sector; looking if they need anything from us.

The others get a guided tour of all the important places. There aren't many, so they should arrive not too long after we do.

I have spotted Susan in the crowd and I make my way to her and walk by her side. At first, we simply nod at each other, performing the usual greeting, but after a few minutes we start some small talk. We have never really been close friends, but her I know best of all my neighbors.

As we are walking I'm glad that I followed the unofficial rule to always have food on me. I give it away and actually talk to one of the men.

"Eh, girl. Tell me, are you the new initiates of abnegation, huh?" He asks me. When he speaks I can see his teeth, or rather the lack thereof. There are stumps and the color black is dominating. His breath smells foul and I have to fight to keep a neutral expression. I know that it shouldn't bother me, but I just can't not notice.

"Yes, sir, that's right." I answer him and think about retreating slowly and hopefully not noticeable. I inch first one, then another foot backwards.

"Oh, so do you happen to know that goes by Tris? A little girl told me about her. She is her sister. Told me to tell her that she loves her and that everything is going to be alright. So if you see that Tris girl, would you pass it on? The little one was adamant that I did it and I like her, so I don't want to fail her. Do me that favor? I'm really touched by this. I know that Liz has her ways with the factionless and I never quite understood. I still don't. But then again she is more selfless than I ever was. I tend to always think about myself. Like right now. And I don't really want that man to know that I'm that 'Tris girl', so I simply tell him that I'd pass his message on and that I'm sure it's appreciated.

The look he gives me after that is one that speaks tons. I realize that he is a very wise man and can probably see right through me. He doesn't say anymore, just nods at me and turns around.

That meeting is still going through my mind when we finally arrive at our dorms. It is actually a plain gray house, like every house in Abnegation. It is slightly bigger, but still holds a kitchen and a community room downstairs, just like the other houses. Upstairs are the bathroom and the dormitory for the boys and the one for the girls.

The first thing that enters my mind upon entering is plain. Second would be gray. The kitchen is bigger, as is the dining table. It has to hold roughly 20 16 year olds plus the occasional instructors, so it should be.

We are the first ones to arrive, but we don't yet go upstairs to secure good spots. That would be selfish. Instead, we begin to prepare lunch. Us ten Abnegation born divide the tasks, so that some would set the table, some would defrost and some would work at the stove. We, unsurprisingly, make a good team. Unsurprisingly, because every single one of us has done it million times before and being selfless really works wonders for teamwork.

By the time the transfers, along with Marcus and another member, arrive, the meal is on the table, so we all sit down together and those who are religious speak their prayers. Then we eat in silence.

It is not that we are not to speak, like before the Choosing Ceremony. Now that we have actually chosen our faction, we are considered grown ups, and part of being a grown up is to be allowed to speak at the dinner table.

My guess would be that everyone is unsure what to do. Old habits die hard and there isn't too much to talk about. I for my part am still painfully aware that Marcus sits at the table, so I wouldn't dare to be the one to break the silence. I just look down, at my plate and eat in silence, never looking anywhere. Not even to Susan.

After dinner everyone gets up to help. The kitchen is huge, but it still isn't that huge. There is simply not enough space for 20 people to do the dishes. That doesn't hinder anyone to try to help, unfortunately. I suppress a sigh and also go to join the party, since I can't just sit idly around.

Before I've reached the others, Marcus' hand encircles my arm. I'm not sure how I immediately know it's Marcus' hand; maybe it's the pressure. He gestures me to be silent and drags me outside, where no one else is anymore. Shame.

"Soooo, I'm glad you made the right decision today. You are aware that it's only the beginning, but still, as a reward you get the first night here. Meaning that I'll leave alone in a few minutes. I have some plans for you, which I am not yet willing to share, but one thin god for certain: you need to learn how to pleasure men. That will be a central requirement for you. Your schedule is such that you'll spend your first week with the factionless and the second one with me, as my personal assistant. Those after that aren't important for now.

"Starting tomorrow, you'll be stationed with some young ladies that gain a little extra money by selling themselves. You'll bring them food and clothing and do everything else that you're supposed to. In return, they'll teach you some of their tricks. They have the order to make you the best by the end of the week, any means necessary. So I suggest you take it seriously, you wouldn't want little Elisabeth to take your place, right?

And remember, don't raise suspicions; none at all."

With every word he said my horror grew and grew. He wants me to be a prostitute. Is it just for him? Does he plan on selling me? What are those girls going to do with me?

All those questions, and more shoot through my mind, but I dare not to speak any aloud. Instead I just say "yes, sir. I understand, sir." And nod, careful not to look him in the eye, just like the dog in the Aptitude Test. Maybe some part of my brain thinks that that'll help to contain the aggression. For once, it does.

"Tomorrow in the evening you will return to the dormitory and go to bed, just like everyone else. As soon as everyone is asleep, you will sneak out and come straight to me. Don't make me wait too long and don't get caught."

I nod again with a sinking sensation in my stomach, and he turns around and leaves. I stare at his retreating figure for a moment, fighting to compose myself and plaster a smile on my face. Then I return to the kitchen, only to find it cleaned and nearly empty. Only nearly, because Susan is still there, waiting for me. She was probably the only one noticing my absence. At her sight I can't help but turn my smile genuine and grateful. Even though she barely knows me, even after several years of shared nods, she cares for me.

I know that she is probably curious as to where I've been, but she'd never ask. This time I'm really grateful for those Abnegation habits. They are also going to make my Marcus-given tasks a lot easier. The Abnegation aren't nosy and won't ask too many questions. That will make sure that Liz stays safe, but it also made years if abuse possible.

I guess that happens when good intentions turn into plain rules. Wouldn't it be much more helpful to at times ask questions, when things seem wrong? You wouldn't ask for the sake of curiosity, but for the sake of helping, so what's wrong with it? How come that the goal of every faction is in some way or another to help other people, but everyone does it on a different level, not letting the others interfere? In a case like ours, a group effort would probably be necessary, but with the current situation, that won't happen. It would need a dauntless to stand up for us, an Amity to help with the wounds, both mental and physical, a Candor to seek justice, an Erudite for evidence and an Abnegation for the care of us.

Why can't that just happen?

**I know that's more of a filler chapter, but there will be more action in the next one. I think. **

**I've also realized that sometimes I have a continuity problem, because there are so many ideas in my head and I'm never sure which ones I used in the end. I'm still sorry if that happens, because I know how irritating that can be. So I thought that if someone had an interest in reading my chapters beforehand and telling me, where things aren't logical or something, you could pm me and we could figure stuff out. Maybe someone wants to be my beta? No idea. I'm still new to this. **

**And now I'll go to bed, I'm tired. Good night. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello my lovely readers! I'm proud to introduce you to my new beta: Lynda Loyde. **

**And I'd also like to thank you all for your continued support. I have found out that I have readers from what seems like all over the world. That's great! **

**And a WARNING: smut ahead in this chapter. Just so you know.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

TRIS POV

I have literally no idea what to expect when I make my way to the address our instructor gave me.

For all I know this could be a filthy place with one or two gaunt girls who never had enough food and rotting teeth.

When I arrive at the house I see a rather huge wooden door and a more or less intact façade. The house is large and in seemingly better shape than all of the other houses in the factionless sector.

Maybe this isn't going to be as bad as I feared. But I shouldn't get my hopes high. They don't say to never judge a book by its cover for no reason.

With a deep breath, I raise my hand to knock, but before my fist can even connect with the door, it opens from the inside and a boy with tousled black hair and grass green eyes appears at the doorway. The boy smirks at me as he registers my startled expression. He is one of the most peculiar persons I have ever met and seems so different from all the other factionless. He is probably a year or two older than me and wears a strange combination of tight black trousers and a bright red and yellow shirt. But what's really notable is that he hasn't lost yet his joy of living and has such a positive and playful aura.

"Sooo, enjoy what you're seeing?" He asks and I realize that I stared at him for quite a while. I blush a little but reply

"Oh, you know, I just thought that you're probably the only person in this whole city that would put Amity and Dauntless together like you do. I admire you for trying."

"Are you criticizing my fashion choices? I am shocked! And such words from a stiff. That hurts." He says with a cheeky grin and a hand over his heart in mock hurt.

"I assume that you're the stiff that Marcus Eaton wants us to teach? If that is so, please do come in."

"Yes, that would be me" I say as I pass him and step into the room. And what a room at that! It is a grand room with a high ceiling and paint and pictures on the walls. The room, or foyer, I guess, holds a counter and there are sofas, loveseats and armchairs scattered around.

The dominant color is red, which gives the room an overall cozy feeling. I blush just as red as I closer examine the pictures on the wall. All of them show two or more naked people in explicit situations.

I hear some laughter from behind me and turn around to see who it was. On one of the sofas sit three young women, which I haven't noticed before. One of them stands up and comes over to me.

"Ah, you're here. Beatrice, is it? Well, I'm Louise and you've already met Mick. Those ladies over there are Emma and Audrey. There are more of us, but they are currently asleep. And you don't really need to know them. Mick and I are going to teach you what you need to know. So come on, we can settle that somewhere more comfortable.

She takes me through another door and down a hallway until we reach a smaller room which mainly consists of a tiny bed, a wardrobe and a huge vanity table. I'm starting to wonder where did they get all that stuff from. First the sofas, loveseats and armchairs in the foyer now this huge vanity table. I'm curious but I refrain from asking for now.

Louise tells me to strip down and I comply hesitantly, thinking about my bruised and beaten body. As I stand in front of her, entirely naked, she takes the sight of me in and a look of disgust crosses her face. Great. Thankfully, she doesn't say anything about it and just tells me to go take a shower and put on more 'appropriate' clothes; consisting of a really revealing lacy bra and lacy underwear.

"Ah, that's better. Now come here and sit down." She motions to the vanity table and pulls out the chair.

The next hour or so is filled with her giving me a makeover and simultaneously teaching me various techniques so I can do it myself when I'm on my own. When she's done she orders me to wash my face and reapply it myself. I'm still quite unsure of my motions, I have never had any make up, since it's considered self-indulgent. Still, Louise is a good teacher, even if not always very nice, and she showed me how to enhance my features and make me look sexy, or as sexy as I can get, with minimal make up. It takes me a lot longer than her and my lines aren't nearly as precise as hers, but she is content with the result and so am I.

Next on the list is my hair. That is more complicated, since I still have to always wear it in its Abnegation style, and it would draw suspicion if I curled it or something along those lines. So she simply shows me some basic hairdos for my long, blonde hair.

Up until now I feel uncomfortable, but it is bearable. I never shed a thought for my looks and seeing me looking sexy in the mirror had me shocked for a moment. I tried to hide it and block my thoughts out, just going along with whatever Louise told me to do.

There wasn't anything really physical until now and I'm glad, because I'm really afraid of that. My relieve over that, however, doesn't last very long.

Before I know it, Louise takes me to another room which is clearly used for clients. The biggest indicator for that is the huge bed, of course. And on the bed lies Mick on his back, his arms folded beneath his head.

"Now it's time to learn how to pleasure a man. And that's best taught by Mick because… well, he, is a man. I have to go and get ready myself for the evening. Try not to interfere with the clients when you leave. Oh, and here's your 'dress' and a bag of things Marcus Eaton wants you to have. And a pill. Take it now and then once every month. It's birth control; you wouldn't want to get pregnant now, would you?"

And with that Louise tosses the stuff at me and leaves me alone with Mick.

I turn to him, afraid of what's about to come.

"I never thought a twelve year old could look so sexy." He tells me with a grin. He pats the bed, motioning me to sit down next to him.

"Now, I know you're afraid and this is going to be awkward, but I need you to trust me and to cooperate, otherwise this will hurt a lot." He says soothingly and for some odd reason, I trust him. I'm not exactly sure why, maybe it's his positive and playful character or his kind smile he is giving me.

I just nod; not really trusting my own voice.

"Have you ever had sex before?" He asks me tentatively.

"Y…Yes, well no. I don't know. I'm not a virgin anymore."

"Oh, ok. I thought so. Now, that's not exactly what I'm supposed to teach you, but you need to get a bit more comfortable with me and I want to show you, how great it can be. So for starters, we are just going to have sex with one another. And I'll show you the pleasures it can bring. Close your eyes and just let me do what I do best."

With that, he kisses me on the mouth and slowly pushes me onto the bed until I lie on my back and he hovers above me. His hands cup my breasts through my bra, while he continues to kiss me. First on the mouth, but then he leaves a trail of kisses down my jaw, along the neck until his lips reach my bra. As if on cue his hands wander under my back and he pulls me up a bit to unclasp my bra. As it is flying through the room, I move my hands to cover my bare chest.

I feel embarrassed and incredibly exposed. Mick gently grabs my wrists and holds them above my head. By now I'm fighting my panic. I can't move; can't escape. My breathing gets faster and more and more shallow and I try to speak, but no words would leave my mouth.

Mick finally notices and lets go of my hands. He gently strokes my cheeks and murmurs that everything is going to be just fine, until I've somewhat calmed down.

He eyes me compassionately and says "I'm really sorry for having to say this, Beatrice, but you need to get over this fear. I know that sounds rude, but others aren't going to care. If you want we can stop right here and move on to the lesson I'm supposed to teach you. But I'd really recommend going on. You need this, and it's really not so bad."

I sigh and after a moment of complete silence, I tell him to go on. He is right and I know it, but that doesn't make this any easier for me.

He nods at me and then goes back to kissing me. He kisses my breasts and circles my nipple with his tongue. This is a complete new sensation for me and I can't help it but to let a moan escape my mouth. I feel my nipples grow hard, and so does he. I feel him grin against me and he moves on, down my stomach. His hands move with his lips, down my side and my thighs. When he reaches the cuts on my abdomen, he sits up a little and traces them with his fingers. I turn my head to the side, not wanting to see the look on his face. But just like Louise, he doesn't comment anything about it but just moves his hands further down.

When his hands are between my legs, all the thoughts vanish from my consciousness. I feel him circling my clit and I begin to squirm and the fear rises again. But there is also a large amount of pleasure that's building inside me. Those two feelings battle themselves until Mick slips a finger inside me. Pure pleasure overtakes. As he moves at first one, then two fingers slowly in and out, I mirror his movements with my body and moans escape my mouth in rhythmic intervals.

His fingers move faster and harder and deeper until I finally feel like exploding and a wave of bliss and ecstasy rides through me. With the loudest moan yet, my back arches and I lose control over my whole body. I pant as I struggle to get a grip on myself and can't bring myself to look Mick in the eye.

He takes his free hand and strokes my face again. After a few seconds I'm ready to look at him again and see him grin once more. His eyes ask whether I liked it and whether I'm ready to go on. I give him a small nod and lay back again.

He removes his hand from my core for a second and takes of my remaining underwear. Then he takes of his own shirt and pants until he is completely naked as well. When I risk a glance at him I notice how muscular he is and wonder for a brief moment, in which faction he might have grown up, but then I see how hard he is. I quickly look away, blushing beet red. He chuckles a little but soon is serious again. He gives me another kiss on the lips and spreads my thighs.

When he aligns himself at my core and I feel him against me, I'm reminded of Marcus again and I panic. I start to squirm and kick and claw at everything that comes in my way. I'm blinded by fear and memories and I feel the bile rising in my throat. Startled, Mick lets go of me and I sprint to the bathroom, stark naked, but for once, I don't care. I need to get away and I need to get to a toilet. I throw up and tears stream down my face.

I didn't notice the door opening and closing until a pair of hands pulls my hair out of my face and rubs my shoulders in soothing circles. I turn around to see Mick with a concerned and pitiful face as he pulls me onto his lap and I have a full blown break down. The memory of night with Marcus is too much for me to bear. The night when my virginity were stolen from me. The night when all of my hopes of escaping Marcus with my brother and sister are crushed. The night when my dreams for a happy future were destroyed. The night which I thought was going to be my final night in Abnegation, only turns into a night in hell with the devil. I cry and sob until there is no more liquid left inside of me and I'm completely exhausted. All the time Mick rubs my back and murmurs consoling words into my ear. I've never cried before, always staying strong for my dear little sister. Now however, I don't need to be strong for anyone else but me. And I need to feel weak and pity for myself. I'm finally letting all my emotions out, finally crying for everything that has ever happened to me.

Only after I'm done I realize the picture that must have been, a small girl, covered all over in scars and bruises, stark naked, in the arms of a muscular, also naked. Oh well. Mick looks at me a little wary and asks me if I'm done.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I'm not quite sure what came over me, but I felt you and I was reminded of… of my first time, and I just snapped. I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" I try to explain while taking deep breaths.

"It's fine. I've had worse. I grew up in Dauntless, you know." He answers and all that really registers with me is 'Dauntless'. Figures. That's where all the muscles come from. I'm about to ask him how he ended up in a brothel, being male and all, but before I can open my mouth, he starts to speak.

"I'm really sorry for everything that's happened to you and what will happen to you. I really am. And I know that all of this is hard for you and that you never wanted anything like this. I'd get up, bring you back and never see you again, if that was possible, but it isn't and the only thing that can help you is to be prepared. I won't push you today, but we need to do this eventually.

And tonight, if I'm correct, you are to meet up with Marcus and show him what you've learned, right? So you can dress again for now, and learn some stuff that you need to now with your clothes on."

He stands up and pulled me after him. We walked back into the room and I quickly grab my normal underwear and dress. Putting them on again, I immediately felt better and safer. I am truly grateful for Mick's understanding and is determined not to blow it up again. So I turn around to him and learn a thing or two on how to pleasure a man with just my bare hands.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey my lovelies! I'm truly sorry for not updating in so long, but I had a rare week of freedom from University and work and decided to have a life and visit some friends. Travelling light, there sadly was no way to update. However, I'm back to my old dull routine, so updates will become more frequent again.**

**I want to give a huge thanks to all of you who have reviewed and kicked my ass to update again. I needed that. **

**Alright, enjoy!**

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TRIS POV

At dinner that night I hardly manage to swallow any of the plain Abnegation food. I was nauseated by the thought of what already happened today, as well by what will still happen in the night. Honestly, wasn't my day not bad enough already?!

When the kitchen is clean and everyone gathers in the common room to spend time together before going to sleep, I excuse myself and head for the girls dormitory. I know that I can't risk falling asleep and being late, or even missing my appointment with Marcus. But this way, I at least have a little private time to prepare myself for what is to come. I know I can't put on my make-up just yet, as there is the danger that others would see. I can, however, put on the lingerie that I found in the bag. It would be covered by my pajamas.

Being done with that, I just lie down and pretend to be asleep. I know that this behavior must seem weird to the other initiates, luckily, they'd never be nosy and ask questions. Good for me now, but no wonder that something like child abuse can go unnoticed for so long in Abnegation, with nobody daring to ask questions in the fear to seem selfish.

It is well past ten when the breathing of the others has even out and I'm positive that everyone is asleep. I silently get up and tip-toe to the bathroom.

With fleeting hands I pin up my hair and start on my face. I'm shaking all over and mess up a lot before I finally get it right. In the end, my eyes are very irritated because I accidentally poked them with my mascara. Yes, I was shaking that much. Another glance at my watch tells me that it is half past eleven by now and I know that it's time for me to leave the house.

I listen carefully at the bathroom door, making sure that no one is out there and could see me. Again, as quietly as possible, I unlock the door and head downstairs towards the back door. For a moment I think I saw someone in the kitchen and turn around hastily, taking a closer look, but at this second glance nobody is there. Huh. Odd, but I'm still relieved that no one saw me.

On my way to my old 'home' I make sure to avoid most main streets and keep in the shadows. Of course, even if I walked in the middle of the street nobody would be able to see me, it is in the middle of the night after all and all the lights are out. I can barely navigate myself, but with the moonlight and my knowledge of the streets, I manage just fine.

The first thing I do upon arriving is to look somewhat longingly at the window of what used to be Liz' and mine bedroom. Hopefully, she lies peacefully in her bed, dreaming of solely peaceful things. For a moment I imagine this was just another family visit, without any violence, but filled with love, comfort and laughter instead. I'd tease Liz about her ongoing crush on this dauntless guy and tell her happy stories of my initiation.

With a sigh, I shove those thoughts aside; they won't help me right now. Instead, I knock and face my fate.

Marcus checks me out as soon as he opens the door. Secons later, he slaps me across the face.

"Your make up is messy, those lines are all over the place. That is repulsing not hot."

Well, hello to you, too.

"I'm so sorry. I'll do it again if you want. I…I"

"Stop stuttering. That's pathetic. And we don't have time for you to do again. Just don't dare to mess it up again. Understood?"

Not even waiting for an answer, he grabs my arm and drags me upstairs, again into Tobias old bedroom.

I try to remember everything Louise has taught me about seducing and put on my 'sexy face' and begin to slowly unbutton my dress, fighting back the nausea that threatens to overtake me as I do so.

Marcus just growls and tells me to "Hurry up and drop the act; I know exactly how pathetic you are, you can't fool me with that supposedly sexy façade."

That has me confused, because I thought that I needed to learn all that just because of him, and all of a sudden, he doesn't want that!? How would that make any sense? Before I can control myself, and despite my better knowledge, I blurt out

"What? Then why am I learning that?" My words earn me another slap and a kick, but surprisingly, also an answer.

"I know how pathetic you are, but I have friends all over the city that don't. And many, many of them also have needs that need to be satisfied. So we have reached an agreement – they make my work as a leader a lot easier, while I, or better, you give them what their bodies crave. So next week, when you follow me as my 'assistant', you will fulfill my side of the agreement, but I need you to be fit for that. Therefore, the lessons." I gasp and breathing fails me.

I'm shocked and far too speechless to bring myself in further trouble. Marcus, my supposedly selfish 'father' sold me for his own gains? And, knowing Marcus, his so called friends will not be an ounce better. I'd never thought that this would happen to me and that this was part of the bargain I had with Marcus. But of course, even with this knowledge I most probably wouldn't have refused; for Liz and for Tobias.

My next intake of air sounds like a strangled sob. All I want to do right now is curl up somewhere safe and cry and wallow in self pity. Clearly though, that isn't an option. In fact, it is not like I have a safe place to be. So I mentally count to three and tell myself to get a grip. I can't be weak. I can't break. I must be strong. I am strong. For Liz. For Tobias.

These thoughts help me not to panic as Marcus himself rips my dress away and throws me onto the bed, still wearing the red lacy lingerie I put on earlier. Once again, he straddles me, but his attention is on his left hand, that picks something up from the bedside table. With his right hand, he takes my left and moves it above my head. Then something cold and metallic wraps itself around my wrist – handcuffs. When I realize what it is, I start to struggle again, despite knowing that it is pointless and probably even turns him on more. It it's worthless, of course, and he quickly gets a hold of my right hand as well. When my wrists are well secured to the bedposts, he gets up and proceeds to my feet. Instinctively, I move them upwards, against my chest, but there is no way to escape him.

With my freedom taken away from me in such a physical manner, I felt as if I can't get enough air and start to panic and squirm around, trying to get out and flee somehow. I'm way beyond any reason and just blindly thrash around as Marcus approaches my face again and begins to kiss me, with his hands freely roaming once more.

Then, as if my body has hit its limit of panic and fright for one day, I just shut down. Somewhere deep in my mind I'm still aware of what's happening and of the pain it causes me, but I don't see, I don't hear, I'm not really there.

When he is done, he is so exhausted; he doesn't even demand anything from me. He just unties me and leaves. I go through the next motions robotically, finding my dress, putting it on again, leaving the house, going back to the initiates' house. I reenter through the back door, too tired and done with everything that I don't even bother to check if anyone is there.

Only when I'm in the bathroom and try to wash the entire make up away without a mirror, I realize I'm crying. I don't know how to stop and I don't even care, so I just go to bed, curl up into a tight ball and close my eyes. I have no idea when did I fall asleep or if I ever did; I just lie there with my eyes closed dreaming of a better life with the ones I love. Living with the freedom and happiness that had been stolen from me.

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**Alright. What do you think? I promise, the depressing stuff will not go on forever and there will be more light-hearted moments in the future. **

**Aaaaand I just decided to let Tris pay a little visit to dauntless in the next chapter. So stay tuned to find out how and why and how it goes!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm back again. I know, I have been lazy, but so have you, my lovely readers. I just received like 3 reviews, which is alright, but I know that they give me a little pressure to update sooner, sooooo**

**However, I can't promise anything since recently I have been accepted into the University I've dreamed about for over a year now and I'm overly excited and am currently planning my moving there and everything, so I promise to update whenever i can pry my mind of University-stuff.**

**I still have millions of ideas running through my head and I'm also very excited to share those, so don't worry about me quitting. It's just the updates that might be less frequent... I never really prewrite anything. I just need to share the newest chapter, sooooo.**

**And I want to seize this opportunity again to thank and praise my lovely beta Lynda! Shout out! You're great! And you'll rock your exams. :)**

**Alright, it's late and I'll just leave you to chapter 12. Enjoy!**

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Tris POV

The rest of the week passed in more or less the same manner. Learning in the factionless sector with Louise and Mick. Dinner at the initiates' house and then the night at Marcus'.

My first day of initiation was also the last day I had cried. That, I have sworn to myself. I have decided that a certain emotional numbness would help me to get through this. It was actually Louise who gave me the idea. I'd asked her if her profession and life bothered her at all and she answered that she had learned to weigh the pros against the cons and that she was at least glad to live a somewhat comfortable and dignified life. Dignified to the extend, that she was still able to decide with whom of her customers to sleep and where and under which conditions. Many other young factionless girls had it worse. She also told me that in the beginning it was torture to her and she used to chant to herself that she was doing this to survive and that I'd be better eventually and that she shut her emotions deep inside her.

I thought about what she said and buried all the pain and hurt and worry deep inside me. In the afternoon, I managed to have sex with Mick without any emotional outburst, neither positive nor negative.

By now I am mostly indifferent to the world around me. I simply endure everything and refuse to recognize any emotion. There is only one thing that is of interest to me anymore, and that's my siblings and their wellbeing. It's only when I catch a glimpse of Liz at Marcus' or think about Tobias, that I feel something stir inside me. It is the one thing that I refuse to give up. It is and always has been my source of happiness throughout my life and even though I have given up about everything for them, I refuse to cut them out of my life.

It is now the next Monday morning and I'm about to begin my week as Marcus' personal assistant. It is the first time I step into his workplace and I'm not really surprised by the usual gray that greets me there. I ask someone where I have to go and get help immediately. Of course.

I'm about to knock at Marcus' office when the door bursts open and I'm face to face with my stepfather. I'm having a déjà vu and ask myself if from now on I'll start every week with such an impeccable timing.

"Beatrice! You're here! Great! I was just about to look for you, because we have to leave soon, we have to attend a meeting with the leaders of Dauntless. I'm really sorry to put this upon you this early, but I'm sure you will be just fine. If you'd rather not want to come I could find something else for you to do. If that's what you want."

For a moment I'm perplexed by his friendliness and consideration, but then I remember that we're in public and that he'd have to put on this façade of a caring father and leader.

"No no, that's fine. Of course I'll come and help you." I answer just as friendly for appearances' sake and smile.

He informs me that we'll take one of the government's cars and are to leave immediately. So we walk outside once more, and on the street there is now a car parked. We both get in, him on the driver's side and me on the other side. I'd never actually thought that he could drive and that he doesn't have a driver. But, oh well, Abnegation. What more is there to say? It's a wonder we don't walk all the way to Dauntless Headquarters.

When the doors are closed and we drive off, the pleasant façade of Marcus drops in an instant and there's not even the hint of friendliness left in his features.

"Listen here, the plan is as following: the meeting lasts from 10 to 14 o clock. You will be invisible at my side and write protocol. No talking and no eye contact with anyone, just concentrate on the protocol. I want to have it in every detail.

Afterwards, I have a private meeting with Max where you won't be required. Instead, you will have another… meeting with one of my friends. He is among the leaders and you will just follow him afterwards. His name is Eric and I expect you to please his every need, understood?

You'll find everything you need in the bag on the back seat. Change now and apply the make up later, no one should see you with it. And if I hear even the slightest complaint about you, you know what's coming for your sweet little sister, right? So you better give your best."

So this is it, my first appointment. I'm scared as hell. Mick at least is gentle and somewhat likeable and with Marcus I can just lie there and pretend to be somewhere else; but with this Eric I'll really have to act and participate and remember everything I have learned and I'm scared of what will happen if I fail. However, I also feel like vomiting at the thought of giving myself to some stranger, who is Marcus's friend. I mean, that fact says it all, right?

My thoughts frantically race through my head afterwards; it is a mess of memories from 'sessions' with both Mick and my 'stepfather', pure fear and repetitions from stuff Louise has told me. So much for the numbness I adopted in the past few days. All of them gone in an instant with the words from the man beside me.

I come to myself again when we pull into a small parking lot at the entrance of a multi-story house. For a moment my anxiousness is forgotten, I realize that I finally get to step foot into Dauntless. Sure, not in the way I wanted, but still.

It is dark and cold, and at first I don't see much, but when my eyes adjust to the darkness, I can make out different tunnels and the faint glow of light at the end of each. I also see the person standing in the entrance of one of the tunnels. As he comes nearer I realize that it is a man that looks only a few years older than me. He has greasy black hair and a burly stature, but what stands out most about him is his heavily pierced face. It seems as if there is more metal than flesh there and it is grueling.

He inclines his head slightly to Marcus and welcomes him to Dauntless; ignoring me completely. Not that I mind.

Marcus returns the nod. "Eric. It's nice to see you again. Oh, and this is Beatrice; you know, the girl I told you about."

This makes Eric look more closely at me and I make sure to keep my eyes trained on the ground. I really don't want to look the man I was to 'please' later in the eyes just yet. Still I can nearly feel his gaze on me, taking in my thin body and my baggy, gray clothes; lingering on my nearly inexistent curves.

"Ah, Beatrice. Well, I'm already excited to get to know you better later. We will have a lot more time to talk later." He says with a lustful smirk on his lips. I can feel the bile rise in my throat at the thought of what he will do to me later. Somehow I don't think that he is simply sexually frustrated. He seems by far too… sadistic for that. With this thought, my breathing accelerates and I feel the panic once more take control of my body. But this is neither time nor place for this. 'Focus, breathe, focus' I tell myself and slowly, one by one I rebuild the walls I have made around my emotions and let the numbness rise. Only this time, the walls are thicker and I made sure that they won't come crumbling to pieces around me again.

As we walk towards the meeting room I trail behind, listening idly to the conversation Eric and Marcus are having. I hear pieces about Erudite and reports and Abnegation and a new serum, but I can't really make sense of any of this.

While wandering through the maze of hallways that is Dauntless, I also try to imagine Tobias living here. It is strange and at the same time easy and hard to picture. This new, stronger version of Tobias must fit here well, but the Tobias I knew, the kind and lanky boy that comforted me at night, this Tobias would've been miserable here. Not only because of the smalls hallways, that make me feel claustrophobic, and surely him as well, and all the heights he was so afraid of, but also because of the emotional coldness that creeps into me with every turn we take. Our siblings were all we had and we believed in the strength we had together. We never needed to shout it out, it was more of a quiet reassurance that we are here for each other and will love each other no matter what. Tobias was ripped away by the society and I left out of protectiveness, but I still know deep inside that there are two people in the world that love and care for me. They are my safety net. We all know that of each other, so there is no need for words. Words could never fully emphasize the feeling we shared.

Here, however, words never seemed to run out. Everyone was shouting and gesturing excessively. If I was one of them, I would have probably found it exciting, new and great. But as a bystander, it frightens me and I wonder if these Dauntless still believed in their manifesto or if it was just pure recklessness that drove them now.

The dynamic between the members are odd as well. There are groups everywhere and yet everyone seems to live for themselves. It is so different from what I know in Abnegation. There, loyalty and friendliness is genuine even without a single word uttered about it. Here, there are many, many words but also a lot of selfishness.

Eric and Marcus stops in front of a door and knocks, effectively breaking me out of my reverie. When the door is open, I peek inside and see five people sitting there, looking up at us upon our entrance. I freeze and gasp in shock, because two familiar dark blue eyes bore into mine. Tobias.

FOUR POV

I'm sitting nervously in the meeting room, going over my notes and instructions once more. Ever since I returned from Abnegation the last time, I was thinking about how I could possibly help Tris without hurting Liz or endanger Tris even more. So far haven't come up with much, but I decided that a position that held more power and more insight in the workings of Dauntless and the whole city might help.

So the day of the choosing Ceremony, when Max summoned me once more, I finally agreed to take up the leadership position. Silently I hoped that I could be replacing Eric instead of working with him, but sadly, that's not the case. I was always reluctant to be a leader, because that would mean that I'd have to come face to face with my worst fear – Marcus. Yet, my little sister can do that and has to do that on a daily basis, so I can do this as well. Especially, when it might help her. That was the final nudge. And maybe I can even make steps to bring dauntless back to its old ideals, so that when Liz comes here, she encounters a less cruel and braver version of this faction. From now on, this would be my goal and this new determination I felt that night has yet to leave me.

For now I'm not even officially a leader, since I'm still the instructor of the initiates. However, they already gave me first instructions and told me that I would attend all meetings and learn the rest later. I will replace the oldest of the five leaders, who decided to retire. I was all in for that, until I heard that my very first meeting would be with Marcus of all people. Backing out is no longer an option and I won't give him the satisfaction to see the effect he still has on me. I'm determined to just be Four, the dauntless prodigy and leader, who is a strong man with hardly any fears.

Then, the door opens and I feel my façade slip away for a second, despite my best efforts. In the door there is not only Eric and Marcus, no, there is also Tris. We leaders were informed that an initiate girl which will most likely work in the government later was supposed to accompany Marcus today, but I haven't given her much thought. And it never even occurred to me that it could be Tris. When I thought of her, I thought of the situation she was in, and not the fact that she is also an Abnegation initiate. So her appearance here is a shock to me.

Especially since she is a version of Tris I can hardly recognize – she seems so isolated from everything that is going on around her and she has lost her glow and spirit. The Tris I knew was so alive and strong through everything that Marcus threw at her, but now there is no spark in her sunken in eyes anymore and she definitively has lost weight. I'm shocked by what I see and immediately want to run to her; engulf her in a hug and run far away with her to a place where no harm will come to her anymore. And at the same time I'm eaten away by guilt. Because all of this is my fault. I should have stayed and protected her. Then, I would never have to see Tris as this ghost in front of me.

Our eyes lock and I try to convey all my feelings with my eyes and at the same time examine hers for any trace of live and emotion, but I can't find any.

I'm about to get up and go to her, but she seems to see right through my intentions and shakes her head, barely noticeable, at me. I'm confused. Doesn't she want me near her; or doesn't she want to be associated with me, or… I don't know. Why did she tell me not to get up?

I'm confused and the tiniest bit hurt, even though I know that I have no right to this feeling at all. So, I try to suppress it, but judging by the way Tris looked down at the floor, her shoulders slumped, she must have caught it. Great. Now I hurt her even more. God, I'm an awful big brother why is it, that I can't ever do anything right?

All the way through the meeting I try to catch Tris' eye again and comfort her, but she wouldn't look at me, or anyone for that matter. She just gazes down at her paper where she takes notes and avoids any contact with anyone.

I have every intention of going after her when the meeting is done. I plan on getting her somewhere alone and safe for the moment, where I could be there for her and comfort her and plan her escape with her, but Max has other plans. He announces that there are still some issues which are between him, the main leader and Marcus, the government leader and that Eric was assigned to give Tris a brief run over how things worked around here in the meanwhile.

That raises my suspicions. Why would ERIC tell Tris about that? Even if she works in the government later, she doesn't need ERIC to tell her. Plus, I really don't want Tris to be alone in a room with Eric. And a look at her face tells me that neither does she. So I stand up and say that I could do that, since it is still fresh in my mind and I'm an instructor and somewhat experienced with initiates.

Eris just sneers at my suggestion and Laura, another leader tells me that she wants to go over some stuff with me and that I can't go and that Eric will do this just fine. I'm not ready to give up that easily, but then I catch Tris gaze for the second time today and for the second time her gaze tells me 'No, act as if you don't know me and don't get yourself in danger. I'm just fine'.

I want to ignore that request, wanting to safe her from that and wanting to have some time alone with her but her eyes plead and beg with me and with a sigh I nod at Laura and watch Tris and Eric leaving the room.

I'm such a failure.

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**Any thoughts? Please do share them. Oh and next chapter I might just put a little brotherly Fourtris in, if I'm in a generous mood, but uh-oh! Eric!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm back, and this time I procrastinated less, which resulted in another chapter after just a day and a half. yeeehaw! **

**Well, I have to apologize though, because I know I promised you Fourtris this chapter, and, well that'll have to wait until the next chapter. I didn't plan on this to be quite so long, but I got a bit carried away and made this whole thing more detailed and longer. **

**Part of this is actually based on a dream/ nightmare I recently had. I was scared stiff (haha, no pun intended!). Whatever. I'll just leave you to the chapter now. **

**Oh and a fair WARNING - Eric is a sick bastard and that reflects in this chapter, so if you're fainthearted, you have been warned.**

**and as always thanks to Lynda for her advise and time!**

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TRIS POV

When we leave the room, my heart sinks. I hold on to Tobias's presence and attempt to save me, even though he doesn't even know what he tried to save me from.

Eric roughly grabs my arm and drags me down several unfamiliar hallways. And this time, I don't see anyone on our way. I suspect we are on our way to somewhere private. After many turns and twists we encounter a stairway and go deeper down. I stumble on my way, since I'm way shorter than Eric and not as fast.

As a response he lets go of me and before I can be relieved, he shoves me and I tumble down, hitting my face, my back and every other part of my body. At the end, I just keep down, too much ache in my limbs to even think of moving. The stone floor is smooth and cold, numbing my pain a bit. I really don't want to get up again.

Still, this is just yet another wish of mine that won't be granted and as I hear the approach of heavy footsteps, which most likely belong to Eric, I get moving again and work through the pain. I struggle to my feet and grit my teeth to keep from making a sound. As I look up, I see a by now familiar smirk on Eric's face and a creepy glint in his eyes. So I was right, he enjoys causing pain. Great. Really, just great. I close my eyes as a shiver of dread washes over me. My head is still dizzy and when I take a step forward to keep moving again, my visions swims and my knees stagger and I hold on to what is closest to me, which, unfortunately is Eric.

As I realize that, I quickly let go. However, what happened happened and I can't undo it.

"Who do you think you are that you can just touch me? Don't. Ever. Do. This. Again. You filthy stiff." He asks, his eyes blazing. I shrink back and give him a tiny nod.

"Yes, I'm sorry. Please, forgive me. It won't happen again. And please, don't tell Marcus. Please." I plead him, afraid of what will happen to Liz if Marcus knows that I offended Eric.

"What, Stiff? Afraid of your faction leader? My, my. You sure aren't Dauntless material." He taunts me, but I choose to remain silent and to just take it.

When he sees that he won't get a reaction from me, he grabs me once again and we continue our walk.

After about another 10 minutes and three other stairways, we reach a thick door which opens into a dark and cold room with rough stone walls. I don't really have time to examine my surroundings as I'm shoved inside and once again tumble to the ground. I hear the door shut close and find myself in absolute darkness. Relying on my ears, I try to find out where Eric is and what is going to happen. First, a key is turned and I know I'm locked in with Eric in this creepy room. Keep calm.

Then, footsteps. I count seven of them; then the sound of metal on stone and metal on metal. I get the feeling that Eric is gathering tools from somewhere within the room. I wonder how he finds his way in this complete and utter darkness, but he must have memorized where everything was. I can see nothing and hear nothing but the sounds Eric makes. I'm filled with dread and bone deep fear of what is going to happen.

Not really consciously deciding anything, I act on pure instinct. I get to my knees first and then on my feet as silently as possible, hopefully disguised by the sounds Eric makes himself. I tiptoe to where I think the door is and in my concentration, I fail to notice the sudden absence of sound. A moment later, there are even more noise and it is coming towards me with an alarming speed. I try to get away, not caring about being silent anymore. But before I can even make a move, Eric's hands are on me again, trapping me between him and the wall. I feel his foul breath in my face and feel like gagging.

I can't see him, but I'm sure he enjoys this. I tell myself to calm down and to go to a happy place. I know that I shouldn't waste energy on fighting. There is no point doing so. But the logic is drowned by my pure survival instinct.

I shove his chest, but he won't budge. I hit and kick blindly, missing more often than finding my target. Nonetheless, I keep on fighting. When my body starts to feel so weak and tired, I started screaming. I scream and can't find the sense to stop it.

That is, until he puts something into my mouth and gags me effectively. Though that doesn't stop me from trying to scream, it is muffled and not nearly as loud and desperate sounding as before.

He moves on to my hands, securing them one by one to the wall behind me, somewhere above my head. I fight and flail and twist, but he is so much stronger than me and I stand no chance.

The next thing I hear is a ripping sound and then I feel a sudden coldness enclose my body. My dress is gone and I'm standing in nothing but lacy, sexy underwear in front of Eric. In this moment I don't care if he can actually see anything, I just have an overwhelming sense of helplessness as one of my senses is disabled. I can't move and I can't anticipate anything. I just know that it's going to be bad; really, really bad and I can't do anything about it.

His hands cup my face and his thumbs stroke my cheeks. That breaks me out of my frenzy and I freeze.

"I always love it, when you fight. To me, there is nothing more exciting than a struggling and desperate and powerless little girl. It gives me so much pleasure. You know, it makes me feel powerful. Come on, beg some more. Plead to me not to hurt you. Oh, wait you can't speak. Too bad, I guess. Maybe now I have to tell Marcus about my disappointment."

I close my eyes and feel some tears slide down my cheeks, dripping onto my bare chest. Eris must have felt them, because he trails their paths from my eyes, to my chest. Once his hand is there, it doesn't leave. Instead, he feels my breasts through the bra and kneads them hard. Despite everything, it hurts and more tears are coming.

He laughs, enjoying himself immensely.

"Well, stiff, don't you enjoy that? I could enjoy that more, you don't have much, do you?"

Not being able to reply, I lay my head back against the wall in defeat and tell myself over and over again to stop crying, to stop all the emotions and the panic. But I just can't. No matter how hard I try, my body won't listen to me.

Eric's hands get moving again, farther down, and farther down, until they reach the hem of my underwear. As they move I feel a strange sensation in my stomach, it is contracting in a way that could have been delicious if it wasn't for the situation. Now, it evokes nausea and disgust and I start to struggle again.

"Now, now. Don't you like it? Come on, I'm just doing this for you. Be a little grateful." And following some sudden change of mind, he removes my gag and kisses me straight on the mouth. Startled and surprised, I don't have time to move my head to the side, but I also refuse to kiss back. For now, he doesn't seem to mind. Instead, he just rips my underwear apart and throws it away.

His hands find me again and he cups my core and starts to pleasure me. It feels so wrong and violating, I don't want anyone touching me in such a way. But to my huge disgust, it also feels so good and my body works itself towards an orgasm. I bite down hard on my lips, not wanting to show Eric just how much effect this has on me, but still I can't keep everything from escaping.

One would think that I'm used to being violated by now, after even my stepfather did that, but I'm not and I feel just as dirty and filthy as the first time.

"Did you enjoy that, little girl?" Eric sneers and I refuse to answer, not wanting to give him any more satisfaction than I already have. That only earns me a slap across the face.

"Answer me! Did you enjoy that?" He asks again, this time with a considerable amount of rage in his voice.

"Yes." I admit reluctantly; ashamed.

"Now, that wasn't so hard, was it, Stiff?"

What feels like weeks later, time moves strangely in a place without light and full of torture, he does not only light a lamp, but also shows me his amount of weaponry he has stored down here.

I feel incredibly weak already and I know that my legs barely support me, but this sight makes me want to faint. There is a wide array of knives and belts and whips and things that look like they would leave nasty burn wounds.

"Your stepfather must be pretty desperate when he gives you to me and tells me that I'm allowed to do practically everything with you. He said that you are too precious for him and he will not accept it if you are dead. He must love you so much, no?"

I feel sick. Of course I am precious for him, but it is just because he can gain so much from me. I am his punch bag, toy and an item which he can trade with power.

"In exchange of you, I gave him some information that he wanted. You see, the Erudite plan an attack on Abnegation and they need us Dauntless for that. Actually, the attack is my job here in Dauntless, but Marcus and I are such great friends and I decided to give him a fair warning and now he is literally trying everything to prevent it from happening. A bit pathetic if you ask me, but I don't complain. I enjoy our acquaintance too much for that. But I'm in a bit of a predicament. Should I remain loyal to my old faction and help them out in an hour of need, or should I repay Marcus' favor with one of my own and hold of the attack for a bit?"

While I'm trying to process the information and find out whether or not he really expects an answer from me, he slices a knife across my right arm, from the wrist to the elbow. I try to scream, but my voice is long gone by now.

"Hmm... I could have a position of great power when we overthrow the government. Right then I could just take anyone I want and have them anywhere I want. So, I think this is a no. No, I won't help out your dear daddy. But I will keep him fed with information. That way, I will be able to meet more often. What do you think, Stiff? Wouldn't you enjoy that as well?"

He runs the knife down my other arm. I have no idea what to say and I have no idea why he is even tells me any of this. Isn't he afraid that I'd tell Marcus?

In the same time, it also woke my interest. Erudite wants to overthrow Abnegation? What do they want to do? Kill all of us? I know that they are releasing antagonistic papers. Mick has told me that. However, no one would believe that the perfect, selfless Marcus abuses his children. To prove their point, I stayed in Abnegation.

He doesn't stop talking about this subject for the rest of our encounter and he inflicts more and more wounds and pain on me. Slowly, I feel myself losing consciousness due to the loss of blood and the overwhelming pain. And I don't fight it. I do not fight the darkness sweeping onto me. It is so heavenly to be able to not see, hear and feel in this situation.

The last thing I hear before I fall into the oblivion bliss is, "Don't you dare tell Marcus anything about this. I have my ways and I wouldn't advise you to say anything. In fact, no matter how precious you are to him, he will definitely believe me over you."

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**Soooo, what do you think? Please tell me!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Tadaaa. Another update, faster than ever. ;) aaaand a lot of Fourtris. So, enjoy!**

**Oh, and to Brooke, who is a guest but also my only reviewer for the last chapter - thanks a lot and i do my best. :)**

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TRIS POV

When I wake up again, I'm still dizzy and confused. I'm lying on a cold and hard stone floor underneath a lamp that gives a harsh white light which forces my eyes shut again. With my eyes closed, all the events of the day come rushing back to me and I jolt upright. Black spots cloud my vision and I steady myself against the wall and wait until the dizziness disappears. I groan as I realize that I'm still in Dauntless and I have no idea where exactly I am or how I could possibly get out. The second thing I notice is that I'm not naked anymore and I am wearing a long black jeans and a black hoodie. Dauntless clothes. Huh.

Sitting around won't get me anywhere and so I slowly get up and assess the damages done to me. I'm incredibly sore between my legs and actually, everywhere else. There are cuts on my arms and on my legs, whip marks and welts across my torso and some burns on my sides. To be honest, every single movement hurts like hell, but I can't stay here. That definitively isn't an option, so I keep on moving.

Standing upright, I notice a piece of paper falling to the ground. I bend down carefully and slowly to retrieve it. It has a note on it which says:

_Beatrice, it was so nice to meet you. Our meeting took a little longer than that of Marcus, so he already went back to his office. He is such a busy man and couldn't possibly make his coworkers wait for him. I gave you some Dauntless clothes, so you don't stick out as much. If you follow this hallway to the left, you'll eventually find an exit. Be unsuspicious on your way out and don't talk to anyone. _

_Oh and Marcus says not to sleep in the dormitories tonight. _

_And remember what I said – do not talk to ANYONE about ANYTHING._

_Until we meet again,_

_Eric_

Well, at least now I know how to get out. I have no idea what time it is, but I do know that it is a very long walk from Dauntless Headquarters to Abnegation. Just great.

With a long and deep sigh, I walk or rather limp in the direction the note gave me. I use the walls to steady myself and slowly walk towards the exit.

I take a break every few meters, but I don't dare to sit down. I'm fairly sure that I wouldn't get up again if I do. While I lean against the wall, I see a figure coming out of another hallway. It walks away from me and I let out a sigh in relieve; I really don't want to encounter anyone right now.

But that relieve is short lived. The person seems to have heard my sigh and turns around. I press myself up against the wall, but to no avail – I have been spotted. Normally, I would run. However, I am defeated and exhausted and simply have no energy left.

The movements of the person seem somewhat familiar and then I see who it is – "Tobias!"

"Tris?!" He asks in disbelief and accelerates his steps. He only stops when he is right in front of me and I just throw myself in his arms. He holds me tight and I revel in this feeling of security that only he can give me.

"Tris? What happened with you? And why are you wearing Dauntless clothes?" Crap. Why does he have to be so observant?

"I… I…" I start but I really have no idea what to say. I don't want to lie, but I also can't tell him the truth. He can't know. No one can.

He senses my discomfort and hugs me tighter. I flinch a little in pain, just a little, but he also notices that.

He looks at me questioningly and with a huge amount of concern for me.

"Tobias, I'm sorry. I really can't explain that to you. Marcus, he would… he would… oh you know. So can you just be there and not ask questions? For Liz? For me?"

I can see the conflict burning in his eyes, but eventually he trusts me and just holds me save in his arms. I close my eyes and lean my head against his chest. The calm and steady beat of his heart comforts me and it reassures me that Tobias is very alive right now and that what I'm doing will be worth it in the end. I have no idea for how long we just stand there in each other's embrace, not moving at all, but eventually I realize that I still have to get back to Abnegation before tomorrow morning.

"Tobias, do you know what time it is? Marcus is gone and I have to walk back to Abnegation and that'll take a while."

"Tris, it's in the middle of the night. And there's no way I'm letting you walk anywhere in the state you're in. You'll sleep at my place tonight." And with that, he picks me up bridal style and carries me down the hallway.

"But how am I supposed to get back then in time. And no, staying here is not an option at all, think about Liz!"

"Tris, there are trains coming every 20 minutes that can take you back there is no time. You'll sleep here and let me take care of you like I'm supposed to for at least one night and then I'll bring you back in the morning." He looks at me with stern and yet loving eyes. I'm afraid to give in to his comfort because it will just be ripped away again tomorrow and you can't miss something you've never had.

But on the same time I've never felt so safe like I do right now and for once I let my lazy, selfish side take control and decide to just enjoy the evening with my big brother.

I'm close to sleep, lulled in by his steady footsteps, when he comes to a halt in front of a door. He shifts me to reach his keys and open the door. I'm about to tell him to let me down, when he already lowers me onto his bed. He sits down beside me and just takes my hand into his. He looks me deep in the eye and I just look back, taking comfort in his soothing presence.

"I know you don't want to talk about this and I swear I won't ask any other questions, but in how much pain are you? And are there any wounds to be treated? Judging by the blood on your hands, you're in desperate need of some medical attention."

"I…" I look back at him, trying to figure out how he'll react to my wounds and scars. I mean, he has seen most of them already and he is my brother after all. And it does hurt a lot. "It hurts. But I've had worse, you know. But antiseptics and bandages would probably help a lot.

TOBIAS POV

I'm trying hard to keep all my emotion off my face. I know Tris and I know that she won't want any pity or really any other reaction at all. But her admitting that it hurts and she needs help tells me a lot. She was always strong and insisting that she's fine. This must be really bad.

I squeeze her hand and get up in order to get bandages and everything else. To be honest, my supplies aren't very well stocked since most injuries a person sustains here are bad enough to go straight to the infirmary and the others rarely are of such a nature that they need much attention. What I kept here are just kept out of habit.

In the meantime, Tris takes off her hoodie and lay on my bed with just a lacy red bra. It looked far too sexy to come from Abnegation or anything she would wear. Even though it kills me inside, I've promised her to not ask questions. And tonight, I'll stick to that promise. Tonight I'll be there for my little sister. The rest could wait until tomorrow because I AM going to find out what's going on. That, I promise to myself.

When I take a closer look, I grit my teeth hard and clench my jaw. I can barely keep all my anger and sympathy and revulsion off my face as I take in the cuts, bloody welts and even burns.

I hate seeing my sister like this. I know that if she doesn't get out of there soon, this will slowly but steadily tear me apart from the inside.

I know that I was shocked this morning to see her so lifeless and defeated, but right now, I'd give a lot for the version of this morning. At least she was uninjured back then.

When I look into her eyes, I see some life again and the tiniest spark of determination which gives me hope. But I also see her broken and battered body and ask myself how much longer she can survive like this. I know that she is strong and I believe in her, but everyone has a breaking point. And isolating her from the only real family she has and the only ones she cares about, doesn't do any good for her spirit. Hell, she doesn't even see whom she is doing this for anymore. Not if Marcus has his way.

Marcus. My 'father'. But that's the solution! There is someone who can at least help a bit! I have no idea really how I feel about her, but I know that she's alive and that she's with the factionless. And right now I'm desperate enough to grasp everything that comes my way.

Tris must've seen the sudden change of my mood, as she looks at me questioningly.

"Tris, I have an idea. I know someone who might be able to help you. I… I never told you or Liz, and I'm so sorry, but it somehow never was right and… I know these are just vain excuses, but about a year ago, I received some strange message and I nearly threw it away, because it was strangely coded and I thought that someone was playing a prank on me, but I didn't. I figured out the code and it was a message from Evelyn."

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**Well, well.** **Little Cliffhanger. And HotaruBia - as I promised I thought about your suggestion and here is the result. :)**

**And a huge thanks as always to my wonderful Beta and all the research you did for me!**

**Tell me what you think!**

**Greetings from lovely and sunny Germany!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Well, I'm back once more. I know, it has been more or less a month, but what can I say? Life got in the way. I'm moving cross country and it involves a lot of planning, traveling around and packing and sorting through stuff. However, I came back with some new inspiration and here is the new chapter.**

**And on a side note, I won't keep up with cannon happenings from here on. I'll try and include as much as possible, but the war and everything just will play out differently. I hope you don't mind too much.**

**The being said, here is the new chapter:**

_ (somehow my page break option is gone. Is that normal for macs or just a strange thing for me?)

TRIS POV

I breath in and out, in and out. This could be the best thing that have happened to me in a long time, or it could be completely pointless.

I take another deep breath and knock on the door. Two times, pause, another three times. It is some secret signal Tobias developed with his mother. I think it is a bit childish, but it is effective, so I won't judge.

The journey here has been an emotional roller-coaster ride. That night when Tobias told me of Evelyn's fate, I couldn't quite believe it. He never told me that his mother is alive! I freaked out, I have to admit that. But what was I supposed to do? The death of his mother was one of the sad but firm truths I believed in. And I couldn't understand why the hell she would leave her son alone with his sad excuse of a father.

I know it was stupid, but for the rest of the evening I had decided not to talk to Tobias again. I know, I know. I do regret it. He however, was very sweet about it and apologized over and over again. He even brought me to the train tracks the next morning. And helped me to hop on and gave me another hug.

I still haven't told him what's going on and his reason for sending me to his mother was purely to get me out of Abnegation. But I can't leave, as much as I'd like it, I can't. For one, there's Liz and there's no way in hell that I'll leave her alone. But also, I gathered some crucial information from Eric and I'm determined to find out what's going on.

If the Erudite really plan a war on Abnegation, I have to do something about it. I know that the government system may be corrupt, seeing as it's leader abuses his own children, but attacking and starting a war surely isn't the answer. I agree that reforms probably need to be made, but I have come to learn that violence never is the answer.

The idea of the papers that Erudite released actually sounded good to me. Discussions need to be stirred up and changes need to be made. Still, an Erudite ruled government won't be any better, I believe.

Well, it's ironic, isn't it? How I came from simply saving my sister's life to thinking about changing the whole government?

However, right now I have to talk to Evelyn. She commands over quite a force of factionless and if I want to gather any information, she is the one to ask for help.

I step into the room and see a woman sitting by a desk, going through some paperwork. She looks up at me and I immediately see the resemblance to my dear brother. Her face holds the same features and her posture is similar to `Four's´.

"Beatrice, come on in", she says in a voice that's carefully neutral and void of any information. I realize very fast that I won't get any comfort from this woman.

"Tobias told me that you are in quite a predicament, something about staying in Abnegation to save your sister?" She asks rather carelessly and fury comes over me in hot, burning waves. I have to grip my hands tightly and remind myself that it took weeks to arrange this meeting so that I would go unnoticed. I can't blow it up now in a matter of seconds. Calm down, Beatrice!

Still I can't believe this woman. How can she make it sound like I'm so naive for staying and protecting my sister?! Well, she wouldn't know, she did leave her son, right?

"And now you've come to regret it and ask me to help you change that?"

"No." I seethe through clenched teeth. "I don't regret it at all. I do what is necessary and that's not why I'm here."

"So?" She asks with raised eyebrows. "Then why are you here? So that we both can whine over our sad, sad fates over a cup of tea? Sorry, I can't give you that. No tea."

"I also don't want that. A few weeks ago, someone told me that the Erudite are planning an attack on Abnegation, whilst working together with Dauntless. Ever since then I tried to acquire more information. Still, not many new development have been made. People in Erudite usually don't really talk about it and I have to be subtle. No one can find out what I'm trying to do.

But I really need more information and then maybe I can get rid of Marcus while the rest of the faction doesn't have to be harmed."

"Ah, well that does sound interesting. But why come to me about it?"

"Well, all the information I can gather, I'm gathering during my appointments with Marcus's associates. Many won't tell me anything, since I'm just a slave to them and could go and tell my dear step father. I have gotten some friends of mine, who work as prostitutes, to help me. It's all a lot of fun for them and they have their ways of getting men to talk.

You, however have a force of many, many factionless. Together, we could form a network of informations, that would make us a force to be reckoned with. You know, most people have some dirty secrets, and most would do nearly anything so they don't come out."

„And what's telling me that there is an actual threat? You ask me to collaborate with you against a threat that I don't even know is real, since you can't show me any evidence, can you?"

„Well, if you work with me and get knowledge of everything that's going on in the offices of the faction officials, you'll get all the evidence you wish for. But for now, you'll just have to trust me. Me, as a girl that had the same fate as you, or me as the sister of your son."

Her cold eyes scrutinize me closely and she seems to come to the conclusion to trust me - for now.

„So you're planning on keeping this situation in check by blackmailing all the officials?" She gets back to the original theme.

"I did not think that you could come up with something brilliant like this. The factionless certainly have the numbers and whilst we're having a lot of contact with the factions, no one really ever notices us. Perfect spies." She muses. I keep quiet and wait until she has it figured out.

"And how do you propose we coordinate that?" She finally asks and gets all business. I feel relieved that she is willing to work with me. She isn't the most pleasant person and I have a faint feeling that she is going to abuse the network for her own good at times, but it's the best chance that I can get and I wouldn't be able to pull this off without her.

I tell her that usually, as part of keeping up the facade of a good Abnegation I do volunteer work in the factionless sector. There I can be found and we can trade information. Also, by now I live in my own house, since initiation is over. On the plea of Marcus, I was assigned a job as his personal assistant. It is a position that gives me access to a lot of information he has acquired so far. He trusts me completely, or rather thinks that I'd never work against him, since he has Liz as leverage. It indeed is a thin line I'm walking on.

On the other side, he has a lot of control over me and no one is going to ask questions when I'm going to visit other factions or spend a lot of time in his office…

My house is actually the one bordering on the factionless sector, so people could slip in and leave information.

I'm also thinking about initiating a factionless care center of sorts, which would be a central building in their sector where they would have access to clothing, food and even health care.

I would give myself a reason to be in their sector more often, but then again, I think that the other factions would probably have a problem with that- since it would make the factionless stronger as a community and maybe one day they could be seen as their own faction. That's not what they want. And anyway, right now I'm in no position to propose it.

We agree that both she and I would be the heads of this network and information would always be immediately given to each other. She coordinates the factionless, while I coordinate my little group of prostitutes.

This is the beginning of what we hope will make us a strong party that will give us the right to fight for what is worth fighting for - fairness, truthfulness, selflessness, bravery, friendliness and the pursuing of knowledge, instead of power. Those at least are my ideals and I really hope that they will win out in the end.

As I leave Evelyn's office and make my way back to my house in the Abnegation sector, I think about the irony of the whole situation.

In the end, it was Eric that gave me new determination and a new goal to work for. It was that very first and so far worst appointment, that sparked something in me.

Having sex with disgusting men is not even a little less worse than in the beginning. It still kills me on the inside and I know that if I could choose between taking Liz and I to Dauntless this very second or revolutionizing this city, I'd choose Dauntless without the bat of the eye. I'm not selfless like that.

I see and feel how I'm getting colder by the day. I have two lights shining inside me, two lights that keep me warm. They are for Liz and Tobias.

I see Liz now more often again, as she has to go by my house to get to school and back. Sometimes she comes in and we talk about everything. We both know what's happening but we never talk about it. And I'm so grateful for it.

In those moments alone with Liz, it's just the two of us and the rest of the world with all it's problems doesn't exist. I treasure those moments and these memories are a constant reminder, why it's good that I'm doing what I'm doing.

I also see my brother from time to time during my trips to Dauntless. I still refuse to tell him anything, but I have a feeling that he at least suspects something. When he first asked about my meeting with Evelyn, I tried to keep vague and evasive, but of course he noticed. He still tries to be there for me, but my stubbornness and my silence makes it hard. He thinks that I don't trust him any longer. In truth, I don't want him to get involved in this dangerous ridiculousness. However, I know that I should probably tell him the truth since protecting by keeping someone in the dark never actually works out. But I also feel ashamed and dirty. And somehow, for some odd reasons I myself don't quite understand, I want to stay as his innocent little sister to him.

Yet, those light get buried deeper inside me with every passing day, with every appointment I have. I still remember how in the beginning I had to build a facade behind which I'd hide my feelings in. Now, it's no longer necessary. The coldness is no longer a facade. It's the real me. My feelings are hidden end enclosed in a tiny space with two lights and surrounded by thick walls that keep them hidden and protected.

**What do you think? Many stuff happened, I guess. Personally, I'm excited to write some factionless-network stuff. Reminds me a bit of Sherlock. :D**

**Any thoughts? Tell me!**


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